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It was the agreement. We hadn't fucked yet, so could it be honored? I needed to fuck her, and maybe, there was still a way, I thought.
I really didn't think she would mind. I had only wanted to transfer her because of the distraction she was sure to cause, but I had never imagined that it could be a good thing. However, now that I was in such an annoyed and irritated mood, all I could think about was bending her over this desk and ramming my cock into her.
I knew what she tasted like, what she felt like, and right there in the middle of the morning, it had turned me to stone. I needed my release, and so I wanted her to stay.
I also detested the distraction, so I wanted her to leave, I reasoned.
Therefore, and ultimately, for the first time in a long while, I couldn’t make up my mind. It was immensely irritating, but just as her knock came, I relaxed because no matter how much I considered it in my mind, things would play out the way they were supposed to. One thing, though, I had to admit to myself as she walked in and I watched her was that at this point and no matter the direction things swung between us, I would be fine either way.
I didn't look away from her. I didn't ignore her. Instead, I watched her every move. She looked gorgeous as always today. She was in a pantsuit, black with velvet lapels. Her hair was tied away from her head, and all I could think about was brushing the tendrils away from her face last night.
Her lips were a blood red, her dark circles though a bit more evident, which made me wonder if it was because she hadn't slept well with me or because she wasn't wearing much makeup. Perhaps she hadn't slept well last night hence why she had come late?
I waited, and soon enough, she stood in front of my desk.
“Good morning, sir,” she greeted, but I didn't respond. She went on anyway.
“I’m really sorry for being late. I wasn't quite clear about things. I’m going to head over to Human Resources now to turn in my resignation as we discussed yesterday. Before then, though, I want to thank you for the opportunity and for your patience thus far, and I’m really sorry about endangering your health yesterday.”
Afterward she lifted her gaze to meet mine, and I knew then without a shadow of a doubt the only thing that I needed her to know.
“We didn't fuck,” I said.
At first, she seemed startled by my words, but it didn't take her long to understand exactly what I was saying. However, she didn’t respond to this.
“You know what I mean, right?” I asked, and she averted her eyes.
I straightened and returned my attention to my desktop screen.
“You can go ahead and do whatever you want.”
I hated feeling vulnerable. I hated feeling as though I needed something from someone. Anyone. I’d rather go without, and this is how I decided I would respond to this entire debacle. The ball was in her court. She could do whatever she liked, and whichever way it would be, I wasn’t going to cajole her in either direction.
A few seconds passed, and I didn't rush her to leave like I usually would have done. I knew she was turning things over in her mind, and that, as if she hadn’t already, it was more likely, at least I hoped, that she was trying to build her courage. Eventually, she responded.
“I think it’s best that I go ahead with handing in my resignation.”
I felt my blood run cold. Sure, it was a very probable response, but as the shock of her words hit me like a bucket of ice-cold water being tossed over my head, I realized that I had expected her to make a different choice.
I tried my best not to look at her, and soon enough, I didn’t have to, because she thanked me once again for the opportunity or some nonsense and turned around to leave. I chided myself that I could let her go, but just before she arrived at the door, I felt like my heart was about to rip out of my chest.
From an early age, I'd learned the very hard way how to follow my gut when I made decisions. It had served me well and was more likely than most the reason why I was in this position despite being quite young.
And in this instance with her, my entire being panicked as though it was trying to tell me that I was making the biggest mistake of my whole life.
“Why?” I asked.
I was eager, but of course, I couldn’t bear to see it that way. She stopped and turned around to me, and I couldn’t help being hostile.
“You were so insistent on getting fucked yesterday, so why the withdrawal now? You don’t think I'll be able to satisfy you?”
My words and expression were as dark as they could be, and to my surprise, she remained soft, almost sad. Her eyes, I realized, were the purest, kindest things I’d ever seen.
“No,” she replied. “I have no doubt that you’ll be great, and I have no doubt that you would satisfy me immensely. But I think it's best now to leave like I promised you that I would.”
I was confused by her words.
“What do you mean?”
