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When I’m done speaking, I stay perfectly still while I get a standing ovation. Tears fill my eyes and even though I promised myself I wouldn’t show any emotion, I don’t even care. Because I did it. I really did it. I worked my ass off and I believed in myself and now I’m standing here while everyone in the SETI world claps for me. This moment is huge—it’s everything I’ve always wanted. I’m finally being recognized for my work, and I’m not ashamed that I’m so happy I’m letting a few tears slide down my cheeks.
I don’t even remember how I wound up backstage, but now I’m here, standing in front of Hudson between the curtains. He’s smiling down at me with that look that says all the things. I close the distance between us, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him hard on the mouth, those feelings rushing back to me. The way he smells, the way he holds me, the way our bodies feel so perfect pressed against each other. We pull back and I say, “I can’t believe you just told the world everything you just told the world. How do you feel?”
“Incredible. And a little scared.” He tilts his head, then says, “Actually, really fucking scared.”
“Are you worried the studio will drop you?”
“No, I’m worried you won’t take me back.”
“But I already kissed you,” I say, narrowing my eyes a little.
“But that could’ve been just a reaction to the moment.”
“It was a reaction to being near you. I can’t help myself. I’m in deep here, even though I was trying so hard not to be.”
“I promise I will never give you another reason not to be in love with me again.” He gives me a slow, gentle kiss, then rests his forehead on mine.
“My dad was right about you,” I tell him. “You are tomato paste.”
He chuckles and kisses me again, pulling me in tighter. “Great speech, by the way. Even though you weren’t prepared, you really knocked it out of Earth’s orbit.”
I grin at him. “Aww, an astronomy metaphor?”
“Yes, and it took me an embarrassingly long to come up with it,” he says. He lets go of me and takes his phone out of his suit jacket pocket and turns on the camera.
“You’re not going to post a picture right now, are you?” I ask.
Shaking his head, he says, “Nope. This one is just for me. Well, I’d really appreciate if you’d send it to your dad for me. I want him to see that the light’s back in your eyes.”
39
Redemption, Love, and All the Good Things…
Hudson
“There’s my little guy,” I say into the phone. “Hi, Oscar! I’ll be home in twenty hours.”
I called home to give Gersh a heads up on my speech, in case he hadn’t heard yet. But it turns out, he already knew. Paul and Brittany are in ‘damage control’ mode, which is basically just pumping out all the stuff I told them to say originally. According to Gersh, the public’s response has been overwhelmingly positive.
“Oscar, buddy, where’s your chewie ball? Where is it?”
Oscar yawns and curls up with his back facing the camera.
Gershwyn’s face fills the screen. “You know he doesn’t understand video calls, right?”
“He does, but he’s upset that I left again.”
“I’m not so sure that’s it,” he says. “I think it has a lot more to do with the fact that he’s a dog with a tiny brain who lacks any understanding of technology whatsoever.”
Shaking my head, I say, “He’s mad.”
“So? Have you talked to Mom and Dad since you came out to the world?”
“Not yet. You?”
“Yeah, Mom called me about an hour ago. I guess Aunt Lydia called her as soon as the story broke. Then Lydia called every one of our relatives to tell them. Shit’s hitting the fan because Mom kept such a big secret from her sisters all these years. Dad’s been getting calls from former staff too. Apparently he’s hearing the word ‘disappointed’ a lot.” He smiles at me, then says, “There’s a certain poetic justice to it, isn’t there?”
I grin back. “I’m not going to lie. That feels pretty good.”
