Page 148 of Stay with Me

Totally caught in my anger, I went on. “And she left here like you two were still going to hook up!”

“Calla—”

“You said you cared about her!” The moment those words left my mouth, I realized how ridiculous they sounded. I turned away, moving into the dining area. I knew he followed without hearing him. “You told her that you cared about her. I heard you. I also heard you tell her this wasn’t a good time and that she needed to call first before she came over.”

“Wait a minute.” His voice got low, got way too calm. “I don’t know what you think you heard or what bullshit you’re reading into it, but no shit, Calla. She needs to call before she comes by my house and three in the morning isn’t a good time.”

I whirled back on him, heart racing. “So if she called first and I wasn’t here, would it have been a good time then, Jax?”

His shoulders tensed as he drew back. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Are you?” I shot back, fists shaking. “I don’t know if you realize this or not, but I’m not the one here who has guys showing up at all hours of the night or giving me free breast exams. And you haven’t heard me tell another guy that I cared about them when they were obviously trying to get laid.”

Jax looked away as he thrust a hand through his messy hair. “Yeah, I used to think Aimee was an okay chick, you know? I never was serious with her, and to be honest, I never got the feeling she was serious about me. So, yeah, I care about her. Don’t want to see any bad shit happen to her. Still don’t want to see that, but I’m rethinking the whole nice-girl thing after tonight.” He dropped his hand, gaze back on mine. “Caring about her is not the same thing. Calla. And I’m sorry—”

“Is that why you have so many toothbrushes?” I blurted out.

“What?”

“Toothbrushes,” I stated, gesturing behind him, toward the stairs. “You have all these unopened boxes of toothbrushes in your bathroom. Do you have them for the girls you’re with? One for me and one for Aimee and whoever else?”

A moment of complete utter silence passed between us as he gaped at me. Like so silent, you could hear a cricket sneeze.

“You really are fucking serious,” he said, and that really did nothing to calm me down. “First off, I have so many goddamn toothbrushes because my mom gets me one for every damn birthday and holiday. She always has. It’s a fucking tradition, and I keep them.”

Oh.

Well, that sounded kind of believable.

“Second, no girl—not a single fucking girl except you—has ever used one of those toothbrushes. Not even Aimee. When I was with her, when I was with other girls, I fucked them, they fucked me, some might have stayed the night, but they all left in the morning or before then, and they sure as hell didn’t use any of my shit. Not even the damn shower.”

I really didn’t want to hear about him fucking anyone.

“I’m not trying to sound like a dick, and I get the way this looks to you, and I’m sorry—I really am, because this is the last thing you need and to deal with her being here. And I get that you don’t have a lot of experience with these things,” he went on, and I felt my cheeks heat with color, because what he said was true. I was twenty-one and had absolutely no experience with boys. “So I understand and I’m trying to be real cool with the fact you don’t get the difference between the girls I’d fucked and you.”

“I really don’t want to hear about the girls you fucked,” I said, speaking my earlier thoughts. “But since you brought it up, what about your train station bed?”

Something crossed his face as he drew back, and I didn’t know why it looked like hurt, because he was the last person who should be feeling butt sore. “Yeah, okay. I’m not particularly proud of some of the shit I’ve done in my past—not the drinking and not the sleeping around. Bad decisions, but that shit ... that shit is so in the past.”

Oh my God.

It hit me then—the thing he never told me that he’d done when he’d gotten back to the United States and when he was here, and couldn’t get his head to shut down. Alcohol and sex go hand in hand. A bit of guilt wiggled free. “I don’t want to hear this.”

“You’re gonna hear about it, Calla, since it’s such a big fucking deal that we’re arguing about it in the middle of the night.” His voice was still level, but his eyes were so dark, they almost seemed black. “I’m only going to say this once. I’ve been with enough people that I know the difference between what was going on with them and what’s going on with you. You’re not one of them. You’re not Aimee. You’re not even in their ballpark.”

Flinching, I stiffened.

“Oh no, no you do not take that like I just insulted you. You’re not in their ballpark, because I’m not playing any bullshit games with you. You get me? What I had with them or what Ididn’tisn’t anything like what I got going with you. Okay?” He continued before I could answer. “And I wanted to talk to you about what had gone down in the bar when your friends showed up, but you were almost kidnapped and then Clyde had a heart attack, so really, there hasn’t been a good time to talk about that shit.”

Once again, he made a good point, and I hated that. Like for real.

“But we’re going to talk about that now—we’re going to finish the conversation you should’ve let me finish before you walked away from me.” He advanced forward, and man, he was pissed. I forced myself not to move. “You were right.”

I blinked.

“I should’ve done more to make sure Aimee got the picture that I wasn’t interested and I wasn’t into her. Every time she touched me or got up on me, I stepped back. I didn’t just stand there and let her. But yeah, I obviously didn’t do enough. And I didn’t even realize how much I didn’t do, because I never expected her to show up here. And not only that, but when I realized how hurt you were and how embarrassed you were, I did feel like shit about that. Istillfeel like shit over that. There wasn’t a whole lot of time to tell you that or even show you, but I did.” He paused, his dark and intense eyes holding mine. “I never want you to be embarrassed over me or anything I do, but you were, and for that I’m fucking sorry. I really am. And that shit isn’t going to happen again.”

Some of my anger started to slip away, and I grabbed at it, trying to hold it close, because anger got me through a lot, but what he said was the right thing to say. And he was right. A lot of crap had happened between Saturday and now. So much that I hadn’t really even thought about how Aimee had behaved in the bar until she showed up tonight.