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On the way downstairs, I grew some lady balls and went over to Cam’s apartment. I needed to thank him, face to face and not over text. With my heart pounding like I’d run up and down the stairs, I knocked on his door.
Heavy footsteps sounded on the other side of the door seconds before it flung open, revealing Ollie in all his messy glory. A sleepy smile crossed his lips. “Hey there, glad to see you up and walking around.”
“Thanks.” I felt my cheeks warm. “Is Cam up?”
“Yeah, let me check. Hold on a sec.” He left the door open a crack as he disappeared back in the apartment. A few moments—moments that felt like forever—he returned, a little less rumpled. “Actually, he, um left already for class.”
“Oh.” I smiled to hide my disappointment. “Well, I’ll… see you around.”
“Yeah.” Ollie nodded as he ran a hand through his shoulder length hair. “Hey, Avery, I hope you’re feeling better.”
“I am. Thanks.”
Giving him a little wave, I readjusted the strap of my new bag and then pulled out my gloves as I headed down the stairs and out into the bright, freezing morning. I stopped a few spaces behind my car, my heart tumbling.
There it was—Cam’s truck.
He hadn’t left for class. He’d been in the apartment. The truth was as cold as the weather. Ollie had gone back to him, and Cam hadn’t wanted to see me.
#
I saw Cam around campus a lot over the next few weeks. It seemed we had a schedule that placed us near each other and every time I saw him, he was with Jase or, like the day before, with Steph.
Whenever I saw him with her, there was a nasty little feeling that settled in my stomach. I had no right to that feeling. I knew that, but it didn’t stop me from wanting to take off and karate-chop Steph into next week.
But that wasn’t the worse part of spotting him. Most times he would see me, and if our gazes collided, he always looked away. It was like we hadn’t been friends for almost five months or that we hadn’t shared any intimate moments. It was like we didn’t even know each other.
It reminded me of how things had become with my friends in high school after the Halloween party. As if our time together had been erased.
On Friday, a small opening occurred. Cam was alone, crossing the main street, heading toward Knutti, his head down and hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie.
“Cam!” I yelled his name so suddenly that it caused a rather pathetic sounding coughing fit that was leftover from my cold.
He stopped, lifting his chin. Wisps of dark hair curled out from under the knit cap he wore.
I struggled up the rest of the hill, chest and legs aching. Out of breath, I stopped in front of him. “Sorry,” I croaked out, taking several deep breaths. “Need a second.”
His brows knitted. “You sound terrible.”
“Yeah, it’s the Black Death and it never goes away.” I cleared my throat, forcing my eyes to meet his. For a moment, as I stared into those crystalline eyes, I forgot why I had forced him to stop.
Something crossed his face and then he averted his gaze, a muscle thumping in his jaw. “I’ve got to get to class, so…?”
Cam in a hurry to get to class? The apocalypse was about to occur. I fought the urge to just walk away at that point, because it was painfully obvious he had no interest in this conversation, but I stood my ground. I owed it to him.
“I just wanted to say thank you for helping Brit out when I was sick.”
His lips pursed as he focused on something beyond me. “It’s not a big deal.”
“It was to me,” I said quietly, wishing he’d look at me. “So thank you.”
Cam nodded curtly and then took a deep breath. His gaze flickered back to me and then away. His shoulders tensed. “You’re welcome.”
“Well…” I ran out of something to say because everything that came to mind shouldn’t be spoken. Like I’m sorry for being such a bitch. And I wish you hadn’t seen the scar.
“I’ve got to go,” he said finally, backing toward the side entrance of the building, where several students smoked. “I’ll see you around.”
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out, my heart stuttering.
