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25
Annie
Morning brought breakfast. Morning brought a hot day and guards taking us as one to the in-house gym and leaving us there for two hours. They sat along the exits, automatic weapons over their laps because of course four girls looked threatening. One of them spotted me on a heavy squat. Another spotted Nikki on a higher bench than I could have done. At the end of the session they led us into the locker room, which had no lockers and no curtains in front of the carrel of shower heads.
I caught my breath and looked at Lettie. She shrugged, mouthed Sorry, and stripped off her jog bra and shorts.
The guards watched, the crotches of their military-issue fatigues tented.
"I'll shower upstairs," I said, sitting down on a bench.
One of them rose, grabbed my hair, and walked me to the shower. "Strip. Bend over."
"You can't do that to me!" I'm Mr. Bevington's property wasn't what I wanted to say next but it's what I thought.
"Can. He wants you girls clean. And safe. I'm checking on safe."
I opened my mouth and Mia said so softly I barely heard her, "Erin. Please."
Furious, humiliated, my face flaming, I took off my gym clothes, folded them onto the bench, met the guard's sadistic gleeful face, turned and bent over.
"Separate your cheeks for me, nice and wide. I wanna see everything."
I reached back, separated my cheeks, and heard the guard snap on a glove. Rough fingers reached inside me, feeling into both orifices, taking his time. My tears splashed down on the already wet tile of the bathroom. Finally he pulled his fingers out of me, slowly and caressingly so I felt every touch.
"Get clean, cunt."
I was just straightening. I mouthed Fuck you where he couldn't see it and determined that when I bought this down – and I would – I'd kill the son of a bitch. As I stepped into the shower I committed his clean cut but five o'clock shadowed Mediterranean face to memory.
I could wait. I didn't look to see if he was still watching. I knew he was.
The hot water didn't feel good when it hit my flesh.
Guards came to the door midafternoon. From talking while we ate fruit and listened to music, everyone went completely still. I raised my brows in question.
"This is the time of day," Mia whispered. She didn't add anything else because she didn't have to.
Lettie got up and went to the door. The guards, the same two who had seen me upstairs the night before, not the one I wanted to kill, had only knocked and opened. They hadn't come in. There were weird protocols in the house, between privacy and allowing for modesty, and the hateful behavior of the guard in the shower room. I hoped I'd be long free of the place and its "master" on his way to prison before I figured it all out.
Lettie came back to us practically skipping. I saw smiles starting on Mia and Nikki's faces. "Is it?" Mia asked.
"Good news!" Lettie was nodding. "Migraine!"
There were high fives. They included me, but I wanted details. "What were you expecting when the guards showed up?"
Nikki's hair had been up in an elaborate style, all curls and sexy boudoir tendrils. She was dropping combs and pins and running her fingers through it as she spoke. "He picks someone different most afternoons."
Lettie was changing, pulling off a silky top and stripping off the lacy bra underneath. She had small, tight, perky boobs with big nipples and apparently no compunction about showing them to us. She pulled a tank top over her head and flopped back down onto the bed beside me. "He sends the guards and you never know. Sometimes it's just sex. Sometimes it's rape."
I didn't ask how sometimes it could be one or the other, especially after he'd already had the same girl once. I totally understood the difference.
"Sometimes it's his toys and there's nothing fun about them," Mia said and paused. "The one thing he's never done with me is see if I'm having a good time." Then she laughed and the other two joined her.
I didn't. "Every afternoon?" I asked. "No," Mia said and the other two looked curiously at her, then at me, alarmed.
"Don't even think it," Lettie said. "Middle of the night, after he's taken out his hearing aide and taken whatever the hell it is he takes so he can sleep like a baby after everything he's done." She shook her finger at me like she was my mother or something.
"Okay, okay, jeez Louise," I said. "Just trying to make sure we all get our beauty sleep."
