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But I think it must take a special kind of person to deal with these matters on a daily basis. The toll it must take on their psyche, dealing so closely with the horrors of this crime. I feel immense guilt for the privileges I’ve enjoyed all my life.
I thought my childhood was rough because my father was a serial cheat, and my mother was a broken shell of a woman who wore her diamonds and minks to hide the stench of her dead marriage. But I can’t imagine the horror these kids must feel and their families who are left behind wondering about their fate.
It wasn’t something I could take lightly, and my anger and hate for those two weren’t going to be of any help in the scheme of things. So now that I had bided my time, I felt ready, and the pep talk I gave myself all throughout the night and the next day before meeting my friend Melissa for lunch helped calm me down and put me in the right headspace.
* * *
I chosea familiar place for our lunch meeting. A cute little bistro that we’d gone to plenty of times over the years. As I sat and waited I tried not to let my mind run away with me. I didn’t want to give myself away, so I practiced my facial expressions, at least in my mind, until I saw her coming toward me.
“Hey, you look great. New hair?” She looked me over before taking her seat across from me.”
“No, nothing’s changed that I know of.” I ran my fingers through my hair that hadn’t been changed in at least two years.
“Well, something’s different, you’re positively glowing.”
“Oh really, well, thanks for the compliment, I guess.”
“What are you drinking? I’m famished.”
“Order something; I’m having white wine.” I pointed to my half-empty glass which I had been nursing while I waited.
I needed to have a clear head, but I knew how much she liked to drink her calories, which was one of the reasons I chose this place. They have a red that she always raves about, and I knew that after a few glasses, she’d be even more open to talking. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d overshared, and that was just the result I was hoping for.
The bartender had been warned to make mine spritzers heavy on the seltzer and my second arrived at the same time as the bottle of red I had ordered to be brought upon her arrival. “You know me so well.” She took a nice big gulp of the first glass, and I paced myself.
Our orders were taken: salad for me, a club sandwich for her, and an order of their special seasoned fries to share. That was the usual order unless we were joined by someone else. The conversation flowed just as easily as usual, and there was no sense that she was onto me in any way.
I almost didn’t want to question her because a part of me was afraid of what I would find, but just the memory of the things I had read was enough to propel me forward. “Oh, I meant to thank you again.”
“Thank me for what?”
“For recommending Jack to work as Mark’s assistant. He’s worked out very well.” She waved her hand dismissively.
“Don’t mention it. I’m actually really glad he worked out because I had my doubts in the beginning.”
“What do you mean?” She leaned in closer across the table as if she had a secret to tell.
“I didn’t say anything in the beginning because I felt kind of bad, but you know how my sister-in-law is and the kind of company she keeps.”
“What does she have to do with anything?”
“Don’t you remember? She was the one who introduced me to Jack?”
“No, I didn’t remember that. I don’t think I ever knew.” She took another sip of wine and nodded her head.
“Yes, she met him in one of those overpriced rehab places that my mother-in-law sends her off to every six months or so to get her shit together.”
“Really?”
“Yes! You know the one. She’s been going there for years, since high school, I think. Anyway, he used to work for some hotshot whose company went under and checked himself into rehab to get clean for a minor drinking problem that stemmed from the stress of the pandemic and losing his job in this horrendous market. I mean, who can blame him?”
I’m almost certain that she never told us that because I don’t think Mark would’ve hired him with that kind of background. Not to work so closely with him, at any rate. “I didn’t think you and Trudy were that close that you were doing her favors.”
“Don asked me to help because she kept pressuring us, and then his mother got involved, and you know how that goes. Anyway, when I found out that Mark was looking for an assistant, I thought, why not? And see, it’s turning out great.”
I kept a half smile on my face while inside I was raging. If I remember correctly, she had sold Jack as an old friend of theirs, someone they knew from before. For that reason, we hadn’t vetted them the way we would have. And now I feel immense guilt because I was the one who had done her the favor, as it were.
I half listened to her life story again, not really caring this time, as I felt a bit disappointed that she had lied to me and brought this into our lives. It’s one thing for Mark and the others to work rescuing and saving lives but something else completely to have one of those animals right underfoot.
