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CHAPTER1
Mark and I attended Vassar together. He was in his senior year when I was a junior. We met at a soiree our houses held together for a worthy charity, and it was love at first sight. I can still remember all these years later the way I felt the first time we met.
He was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen, and I thought my heart would burst from all the feelings that erupted within me as our eyes met across the room. I felt lost and adrift when he turned away without acknowledging me, and the feeling was so poignant that, too, has been embedded in my mind.
I didn’t know that he’d later ask around for my number and call me before the night was over. I vividly recall knowing then and there that this was the man I would spend the rest of my life with. There was nothing standing in the way of our young love.
We came from similar backgrounds and pedigrees and were both on track to realizing our academic dreams. We were married three weeks after my graduation and I gave birth to our girls almost exactly nine months to the day. Our son was born eleven months later.
Now, the kids are all in their first year of college, and we’re empty nesters. I was looking forward to this new phase in our lives because even with household staff and me being a stay-at-home mom for our entire marriage, we had never really been alone, him and I.
That didn’t stop the closeness we shared over the years or hindered our romance in any way. There were still date nights, and at least once a year, Mark and I took a couple’s vacation while the other three were spent with the kids.
Once the kids were in school, I gave more time and attention to my charities and volunteer work, organized parties for my husband’s business associates, and was the ultimate soccer mom.
All in all I gave my best for my family and remained an avid lover for my husband. That spark I felt for him that first day never dimmed and only grew brighter due to the love and admiration he showered me with.
So it was a blow to the system when, on my way back from a luncheon a few towns over, I saw my husband, not at the office as I expected him to be, but getting into his car that had been parked on the street in this town where neither of us frequented.
I was about to honk the horn, thinking that he may have had a lunch meeting, which wouldn’t be that abnormal given the nature of his profession. As a venture capitalist, he spent more time in restaurants and other similar settings than in his office.
As my hand moved toward the horn, I saw something that broke me. I even released a yelp of pain as the woman walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him. The embrace couldn’t have been that long but there was no mistaking the intimacy.
I don’t know why I didn’t announce my presence or how it was that a cold numbness took over me instead of the hot rage one would expect. I sat and watched with dry eyes as he climbed into his car and drove away while she got into hers that had been parked behind.
I’m not sure why I followed her instead of him or how I had the presence of mind to capture images of her license plate. Or why I stopped a few cars back when she parked, why I snapped images of her on my phone.
It was only when she disappeared inside the building that I recognized it as one of ours. I’d driven back to my city and not even realized it. I sat there for what felt like hours, but by the clock, it had only been half an hour before driving home on autopilot.
He wasn’t home when I got there, which was for the best because I needed time to get my thoughts together. I couldn’t acknowledge the pain in my heart because that would not help me much at this time. Anger had no place here; I needed a cool head.
I walked up the stairs to our bedroom and into the walk-in closet to change into my one-piece bathing suit. Swimming always relaxes me and gives me time to look inward.
I didn’t let my emotions win, no matter how hard they tried, as I threw myself into the temperature-controlled water. My arms and thighs burned as I swam lap after lap.
The more I swam, the harder I pushed myself, the clearer my head became. The first order of business is to find out all I can about the young lady and go from there. It didn’t matter how long it had been going on; once was more than too much. All I had to decide now was what I wanted to happen.
Should I confront him, end the marriage, and go my own way? Or do I fight to hold on to what we once had? What was the best thing for me? Not him, not my kids that were almost adults, not my parents or his and definitely not the business or our finances.
For once in my life, I pushed it all aside and focused only on Brittany. That’s me, but my friends call me Britt. The clearer my wants and needs came into focus, the more relaxed I became. Once I gave myself permission to be selfish, it was as if everything else from the past hour had just disappeared.
I heard the water splash as he dove in beside me and came up when we both reached the end. “Hi honey, when did you get here?” My smile was warm the way it always is; the arms I wrapped around his neck felt the same, and when he wrapped his arms around me and lowered his head, I accepted his kiss without hesitation.
Our lovemaking that night was more passionate than it had been in a while. I don’t know what it was; maybe I channeled my anger and pain into sex, but it was wild, I was wild. I saw the look of surprise on his face but ignored it as I took his length into my mouth while my essence from our last bout of lovemaking still coated it.
I trailed my hair along his chest and stomach the way he used to and took my time. There was no rush, no inhibitions; I let myself go. I rode his cock while looking into his eyes, showing none of the rage I felt on my face. In fact, I had tamed that rage into something else.
It's been a while since I’ve had a purpose, something just for myself. There was no need to please anyone else. I was on a mission to take, to gorge myself on my own pleasure without any guilt. I felt his cock pulse inside me when I hefted my breasts while rocking back and forth on his cock that was harder than it had ever been.
Or was that my imagination? No, he was excited; I could see it in his eyes. I reached for one of his hands and led his fingers to my mouth, sucking them in one at a time until they were wet. Then I led his hand to my nipples and showed him what I wanted.
His other hand received the same treatment, but this one I led to my clit, pressing his thumb against that sensitive nub while looking into his eyes. “Oh fuck!” It’s been years since I got that response from him. How come I didn’t notice that before?
He bucked beneath me and throbbed, his hand leaving my breast to grab my head and pull me down for a ravenous kiss. I nipped his lip, and he growled, pulling back to look at me with fever-bright eyes filled with lust. “Cum in me!”
* * *
I invitedhim into my shower, taking his hand and leading him behind me, both of us naked and smelling of sex. I didn’t acknowledge the look of surprise on his face, and when he started to talk, I put my finger against his lips before reaching for the soap and sponge.
