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Hold strong, Ivy, Julita would have told me. Don’t let them break you now.
It’s not just our enemies threatening to tear me apart in this moment, though. The worst threat may be the power surging inside me.
A cry breaks through the tumult. It sounds like Rheave. Instinctively, I push the barrier farther, trying to protect all our allies from the onslaught.
They don’t deserve my effort. What have all those guards and gangsters ever done for me other than glare at me with suspicion? Let them fall.
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
A clang sounds right behind me. I flinch, but when I wrench my head around, there’s no one there.
Shudders pass through my body from limbs banging against my shield of solidified air. It’s already wavering.
I’m going to need to feed the barrier even more power. And on and on—for how long?
How much will it take before they stop?
“The gods will want justice,” someone is bellowing. “Let’s set things right!”
It isn’t even true. The gods want…
The gods wanted me.
Kosmel wanted me to stay alive so I could stand up to the scourge sorcerers. All the godlen wanted the riven souls they poured their magic through to end the horrors centuries ago.
They didn’t curse us—they called on us as vessels for divine power.
Breaking us was an accident, not a condemnation.
If these people could just see… what really matters to me… what really matters to Petra…
What the gods have in their hearts, as much as they have those…
In the midst of my scrambled thoughts, a voice from my past rises up, but it’s not Julita I’m imagining this time. It’s my little sister, sprawled next to me as we stare up at the stars.
They’re so beautiful, the way they sparkle. Do you think someday we could fly all the way there to see them up close?
I remember how I giggled before I answered, with a seven year old’s unshakeable confidence. Maybe they’ll soar down to meet us. But we’ll have to be careful we don’t get burned.
A sudden jolt of inspiration pierces through my muddled mind—or maybe it’s more insanity. But it’s something I can do.
Something only I can do.
The gods came down among us and used the riven to channel their magic, to stop what we humans couldn’t on our own. But destroying the villains left even more destruction in its wake. It left the wildness and chaos the Order wants to breed.
If the godlen regret their stumble, why can’t they balance the scales? I’m right here.
Yes, my powers were a mistake. They’re also the only thing stopping this riot from turning into an outright slaughter.
I’m broken, but I could turn the tide toward peace if I just let myself break a little more.
Maybe it’s time for me to step into the light and meet my fate. For the stars to fall down to shine through me.
Even if I get burned like Linzi’s ribbon in Lothar’s hand.
My innards turn to ice at the thought of what opening my soul up even farther might do to my tenuous grip on my sanity. But it isn’t going to take much more of this before I’ve torn myself to shreds anyway.
I knew I might end up making my final sacrifice today. I’d better make it a good one.
