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There was no job that required my presence. Even with me having my cosmetology license, I didn’t use it in a salon. Doing hair and makeup was a passion for me, but my father took such great care of me that I’d never had to work a real job a day in my life. I did hair and makeup for close friends when they had special occasions, but even that had been halted since my daddy had been taken from me.
There was no man or child that required my attention. Robert Carter hadn’t felt like any of the men I dated were worthy of me. I stayed with him and my brother in our seven-bedroom mansion and had no plans to leave anytime soon. Now, I didn’t know what I was going to do. It was hard staying in this home with so many memories of my father… but I also loved feeling closer to him—being able to go in his room to touch his clothes or smell his cologne.
A fucking heart attack.
A fucking heart attack took my father away from me.
Just the thought had my eyes closing as they watered. I inhaled a deep, shaky breath, gripping the necklaces around my neck. One was a heart filled with petals of the lilacs we had at his funeral. The other was filled with his ashes.
Robert Carter loved lilacs because they were Mama’s favorite. He would get them for her all the time. After she died, he still got them and kept them in the kitchen, since that was where she spent the bulk of her time throughout the day because she loved to cook.
There hadn’t been any purple lilacs in the kitchen in six months.
It was cold, dark, and ugly now.
Light tapping on my bedroom door was followed up with, “Whis, can I come in?”
I wanted to tell Carlos no, but it wasn’t fair of me to keep pushing him away. He’d lost both parents too. This was a time for us to cling to each other and help each other heal. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and sleep. I was in denial about the depression I’d been in. Or maybe it wasn’t depression. Maybe it was just… an overwhelming inability to mentally and emotionally escape the sadness that consumed me. Either way, I didn’t want to be around anyone, but I told Carlos that he could come in anyway.
Carlos wasted no time walking through my room and opening the blinds to my windows. My eyes squinted as I sat up in bed.
“What are you doing?” I asked, though it was clear.
“Getting some light in here. All you’ve been doing is laying in here in darkness. It’s time to snap out of it, sis.”
My eyes rolled as I lifted my knees to my chest. I didn’t bother arguing with him. Carlos, like our father, was a determined man and he always did what he wanted.
“I’m just going to close them when you leave,” I grumbled, making him smile.
He sat on the edge of my bed. He looked so much like him. Gritting my teeth, I tried to look away to avoid the younger version of my father, but I was unable to. Looking at my brother was the closest thing I’d have to looking at Robert Carter. I had to take full advantage of that.
“I don’t doubt that, but you’ll be leavin’ soon too.”
My lip poked out slightly and brows wrinkled as my head tilted in confusion. “I don’t have any plans.”
“I made plans for us.”
Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms over my chest. “What plans, Carlos?”
“I need a solid from you, Whiskee, and I need you to hear me out fully before you say yes or no.” Just him saying that had me wanting to say no, but I remained silent and nodded so he could continue. “I made dinner plans tonight for us and Tim Smith. I’m sure his son and nephew will probably be there, too, but I’on really give a fuck about them.”
“Tim Smith?” I repeated. The name was familiar, but I wasn’t sure why. It had to be someone my father did business with. “Who is that?”
“That was Pops’ supplier. Tim is big on keeping things in the family. Pops was the only man Tim supplied that wasn’t working directly under him or his family.”
“Okay?” I replied skeptically, not sure what this meant or why it had anything to do with me. “Are we almost out of money or something? Where are you going with this?”
“We’re not out of money,” he said quickly, running his hand over his face—a gesture our father did when he was stressed. God. They looked so much alike. Same caramel-brown skin, low-cut wavy hair, and dark eyes. “But I need to keep the organization up and running. This street shit is all I know. I can’t switch suppliers right now. Our customers are used to the product we get from Tim. I also can’t establish a new relationship with someone who will expect me to pay more for the product. Pops had built a great rapport with Tim. Plus, his reach is large, so he was able to buy more than anyone working for Tim. Because of that, he gave Pops a good discount.”
“I get all that. So you want to go to the dinner to make sure you can continue to work with him?”
“Yeah.”
“Why do I have to be there?”
“Like I said, family is important. I know I’ll have a better chance of convincing him to work with me if we show up as a united front.”
I felt like Carlos was leaving something out. If family was so important to Tim, I would have thought our father would have brought me around sooner. If he didn’t, it was for a reason. Robert Carter didn’t play about me. I was hidden from his street life for my safety. My father was very proud of his children, and Carlos’s ability to operate and stand by his side. Being a part of that lifestyle had never been a desire of mine. I benefited from it because of the riches and power that came with it, but sitting in on meetings and being around our father’s supplier seemed… unnatural.
