Shaking my head at all the rumors that got back to me about my mother’s behavior as I ran down the stairs, I tossed the fire door open when I got to Faith’s floor. That Mom had the audacity to waste precious hospital resources on her noninjury when the ER was still filled with people had me embarrassed beyond all fucking limits. But what actually had me ready to snap was that Faith had to deal with her so I could do my job in peace.
How little respect my mother had for me got clearer every day, and I had nothing left for her after that night.
As soon as I came through the double doors for the observation unit, the nurse pointed to the room in the corner.
I had my hand right on the doorknob, ready to attack. But it was quiet enough by that time of night that I caught every word from under the door. “Are you proud of yourself for turning my son against me?”
I was just about to turn the knob when I heard Faith groan. “You want to know how I feel? Well, let me tell you something.” With a sigh, the chair she sat in shifted as she moved further away from me. “I’m sad for you, Missus Vasser. Sad that you have no appreciation for what an amazing human being Dom is.” You always hope the person you think has your back does when you aren’t around to see it. So, if Faith didn’t say another word to Mom after that, it was enough to last me forever. “How he makes the lives of everyone he comes in contact with a little bit better just by being alive.”
My girl barely spoke about her feelings at all, even to me. So sometimes, when she let loose, she kind of rambled on as she worked her thoughts out. But those jumble of words she pieced together as she caught up to what she’d wanted to say all this time were the most beautiful poem I ever heard. “How people respect him and look up to him, and he’s done it all despite being ill and what you’ve put him through.”
Her voice wavered, the pain of finally giving up on having that mother figure she’d hoped for palpable in every word. “And I’m sad for you that you didn’t have the chance to have me as a daughter-in-law, because I so wanted you to love me.” Mom coughed out a laugh at her as Faith went on, anyway. “Oh, I would have been so happy if you were only nice to me even once. Because I’m going to marry Dom, maybe even have his baby.” I smiled at her through the door, knowing it would never have come out of her mouth if she hadn’t been sure she wanted it to happen already. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll see if we can.”
My mother’s ‘For God’s sake. I can’t understand what he can possibly see in you’ didn’t even register to me over Faith’s sigh. “I love Dom. He’s my entire world, and you twisting him up the way you do is over. I won’t let you hurt him ever again.”
I laid my head on the door and closed my eyes. Exhausted from all of this turmoil, I was ready to break down in tears — especially when her sweet self said, “I’ll pray for your heart to change as I always have. I hope you heal from whatever broke you like this.”
There really was nothing else to say for either of us, so I took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Realizing I was listening to every word, Mom rushed to push herself up and fake cried for me as she touched the minuscule scratch on her forehead. “Oh, God. I’m so glad you’re here. These people are awful. They...”
I raised my hand to stop her and shook my head. “Don’t bother. Your tests were all fine. They’ll release you after breakfast tomorrow.” All my fingers curled away except for the one that bounced at her in warning. “By the way, using my name to intimidate staff and waste a bed meant for someone who’s suffering when you’re obviously okay is a pretty shitty thing to do. I hope you realize that will be the last time you will be given that kind of courtesy here.”
I laid my hand on Faith’s shoulder, sliding it down her arm until our fingers met and locked together. “Let’s go home, baby. I just want to hold you for a day or two.”
We were different people now in many ways, stronger and more resilient than we had been as teenagers. And like my patient I sent away a few hours ago, I knew everything would be alright for us.
I pulled her to me, rubbing my hand down her back as I pushed our foreheads together. “Thank you for holding things down for me. I couldn’t have gotten through tonight without you.”
Smiling back at me, she laid her hand on my cheek and slid out into the hall. “Anytime.”
On my way out, I shut the door and left my mother and her toxicity behind for good. No matter how she cried for me to come back to her, I pushed her out completely — because some things were just too far gone for any man to fix.
The elevator doors came together behind us when I pushed the button for the ground level, closing out the last horrible chapter in our lives so we could move forward into all the good things I knew the future held for us.
55
Living the Dream
Faith
Looking back, I guess it was a good thing I didn’t have a chance to pick up that old metal bench from the hardware store yet. Other than the tree in the yard that took out the kitchen window, the stuff the tornado tossed around didn’t do much damage before it sputtered out at the base of the mountain behind our house.
But not everyone we loved got off so lucky.
Carrying a cup of coffee, I ducked out the open French doors to our patio. “Are you sure you don’t want anything else? I can make you whatever you want.”
Peeking up at me through the black eye that didn’t entirely open all the way, Carolyn shook her head. “I’m fine. Just sit with me for a while.”
The only little rental house in town she could afford was now scattered across the football field a few blocks away, along with everything she and her boys owned.
I set the cup of coffee on the ledge behind her and slid onto the half wall as she stared out at the apple orchard in the distance. “I put all those bags of clothes and shoes and some other stuff I thought you could use in the back of Jason’s truck. Okay?”
She was the toughest little cookie I ever met, but as soon as I rubbed my fingers over her arm, she crumbled completely. “Oh, God. What I’m going to do? I don’t have any money saved up or anywhere else to go.”
Pretty much one solid bruise from head to toe, Carolyn could hardly move without cringing, so I let her lean into me instead of trying to hug her. “You and the boys are safe, and that’s all that matters right now. Everything else we’ll figure out together.” Letting her oldest boy measure the windowsill while he supervised, Jason backed out of the kitchen to check up on her until I smiled at him. “Jase’s great with kids. Huh?”
Rocking her head against my shoulder, she sniffled as she tried to replay the other night for me through her tears and the concussion she was still nursing. “He called to tell me to get the boys in the bathtub, and the next thing I remember is him pulling the roof off us.” Her trembling hands balled into fists in front of her. “He grabbed us up one by one and ran us to his truck. The storm wasn’t even over yet.”
“Shh.” I bent down to kiss her head and whispered, “Jason’s not going to let us play together anymore if you keep crying.”