He pulled me to him, pushing his face into my belly to kiss it. “I don’t want you thinking it’s always going to be like this.” Squeezing my legs together as he hugged them, he tipped his eyes up at me. “We’re just in between rent-a-docs and students right now. So, it’s a little more crazy than usual.”
The only thing we ever really argued about when we were together before was how neglected I expected to be once he went to college. The hint of panic in his eyes took me back to those old conversations, and I realized how worried he must have been that I’d only abandon him again when things got too tough.
Working at the three buttons holding the top of his shirt together, I paused to touch his face. I needed to squash that doubt, or I knew he’d kill himself trying to stay up twenty-four hours a day to keep me happy. “I understand how things are, and I’m going to be right there with you soon. We’re on the same team now. Remember?”
I pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it in the chair beside my dresser as he fought to push himself up to undo his jeans. “Just let me close my eyes for a few minutes, and I’ll be fine.” When he tried to kick off his pants, he lost his balance and dropped back onto the mattress. “Fuck.”
I pushed him back with my hand on his shoulder when he tried to sit up again and slid onto the bed beside him. “You’ll sleep until you’re done sleeping. Now scooch over.”
The second I crawled in next to him, he pinned me against his chest, smiling with his eyes closed. “Want to fool around?”
My hair twisted in his fingers as he nipped at my mouth to keep me from saying no until I put my hand between us. “Yes.” His thumb slid down my hip, and my sleep pants went with it until I pulled them back. “As soon as you open your eyes again, I promise.”
I wiggled my arm underneath his neck as he pouted about it and pulled him to my shoulder. “Now, go to sleep.”
Kissing his temple, I scratched at his scalp as he always liked as a tear rolled down my chest. Sniffling back at me, he balled his hand and slapped it against his head. “I’m so fucking tired, but I can’t switch this thing off. You know?”
Seeing someone so smart and full of life flip on a switch to an inconsolable emotional wreck when they finally crashed was heartbreaking — but so was knowing part of that was my fault. “I know. But I’m here with you now, so you can close your eyes.”
I worked the blanket over us, and he pulled my leg over him, relaxing entirely. “Can you put on a movie or something? I can’t stand the quiet.”
I reached over my head to the shelf on my headboard for the remote. Our favorite movie to cuddle up to when we were younger was still in the old DVD machine when I moved back in the other day, and I’d played it a dozen times already. “Of course.”
His pale eyelashes fluttered against my breast until they stopped, and shallow, steady breaths blew over me. “You love me still? Don’t you, Faith?”
The last time he asked me if I loved him, I said yes and left him behind anyway. So I knew nothing that came out of my mouth would ever mean anything if I didn’t back it up from now on. “Always.” I pulled on his hair enough that I could see his half-open eyes. “Like you said, we’re soul mates. Aren’t we?”
He was asleep on the next exhale, and I lay there with him until the movie ended, letting him have a few hours of peace before the entire world started pulling him in all directions again.
31
All I Ever Wanted
Dominic
When the air conditioning switched on, the scent of fried chicken came through the vents, and I opened my eyes to an empty pillow.
After a few seconds, though, I realized where I was when I found our prom picture tucked into the edge of her dresser mirror.
Faith still looked damn good for her age or any other. But staring at those kids in the photograph reminded me how much time we lost already, and I flipped the blankets back off me so I didn’t waste another second.
Tossing my feet over the side of the bed, I snapped back to life as my adrenaline kicked back in again.
My clothes were clean and folded on the chair, and I stretched the shirt across my chest and slid it over my head.
The creaky floorboard in the hall gave me away as I rushed to get ready, and Faith’s voice came from the bottom of the stairs. “Dinner’s almost done if you’re ready, babe.”
Switching the lights on in the bathroom, I cringed at the hobo in the mirror looking back at me. “God almighty.” Sprinkling water in my hair, I smoothed it down and sniffed my shoulder. “Please tell me I didn’t look like this when I showed up here this morning.”
Wiping off a pie plate when I came into the kitchen, she smiled from behind her tiny brown plastic glasses. “Are you feeling better?”
When I leaned in to kiss her cheek, I squinted at the time on the microwave behind her. “Why didn’t you wake me up earlier? The whole day’s gone.”
The dish returned to the counter, and she spun back around and slid a plate in front of me when I sat down. “Because you needed to sleep, and I care about what you need.”
I grabbed her wrist and twisted her until she was on my lap. “I need to be with you, Faith. Sleep I can go without.”
Tracing her breast where it met her tank top, I pouted until she rubbed the stubble on my cheek to snap me out of it. “You have me, and I won’t let you neglect yourself anymore if I can help it.” Soaked in the sweet tea she set beside my plate, her lips softly squished against mine for a moment. “So, go on and eat. Then we’ll snuggle up some more, and I’ll rub your back or something.”