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He hated things being out of his control. Like the night he and his mom had gotten word that his dad had multiple bullet wounds. As a ten-year old, he’d stayed up all night praying, filled with childlike faith that his prayers would make a difference and his dad would recover and come back to them. His reward had been running out into the kitchen the next morning to find his mom huddled behind the table sobbing on the hardwood floor, unable to face him and tell him his dad was dead. That had been his reward for faith.
He had no faith now, but he had Belinda and her love. She was all he needed. She always recited scriptures to him and claimed she had enough faith for both of them. He loved every facet of her spicy personality, even the scripture quoting. She was irresistible and perfect for him.
Jagger and Pastor Ralphs waited and waited. It felt like an eternity, but he’d guess about fifteen minutes had passed. The smells and sounds of the barn were familiar and similar to the ranch he’d grown up on. That was at least some comfort.
The pounding of horse’s hooves moving at a gallop rang through the yard and into the open barn door. He and Belinda had taken long rides into the beautiful hills surrounding her family’s ranch, before her dad had asked her not to date Jagger seriously and to wait until she was older to commit herself to him. Then they had to start sneaking around. They’d found a lake where they’d swum and kissed for a very long time. He had to fight the urge to shift uncomfortably thinking how the pastor would feel if he knew how thoroughly Jagger had kissed his daughter.
The horse’s canter slowed to a walk, but voices and laughter carried through the open barn door.
“I beat you,” Belinda crooned, her lilting voice washing over Jagger like a warm breeze. He leaned forward, anxious to get his first glimpse of her. How had he been rash enough to promise not to run and sweep her off her feet?
“You always do,” Mike’s voice. “You and Sunny are unbeatable.”
“Ah, thank you for admitting to my superiority.”
Belinda’s voice was full of teasing, but it was the teasing of two friends. The pastor might see Mike and Belinda’s interactions as romantic, but Jagger knew better. His Bee was friendly and fun. That was all. He relaxed a fraction.
He could hear them dismount and walk the horses into the barn. Her beautiful face and shoulder length blonde hair came into view. She was breathtaking in a T-shirt, tight jeans, and boots. She looked teeny next to Mike’s tall frame.
Jagger’s hands itched to reach for her. It had been far too long. He wanted to see her smile at him, those blue eyes sparkling and lit up, her pretty mouth cussing him for being gone for so long. She’d sting him, scolding him for making her miss him desperately, and then give him lots of sweet, sweet honey as they kissed almost long enough to make up for lost time.
He started forward.
A hand gripped his arm. It wouldn’t have stopped him, but he had agreed to stay hidden and watch and not say anything. He didn’t look at her dad. He stopped moving and shook his arm to free it. The man released him before Jagger could justify throwing a punch and venting the frustration and desperation building inside him. He needed Bee in his arms, teasing and laughing with him.
The voices and laughter and teasing continued between Mike and Belinda. Jagger listened, and watched when he could see them. Something changed in the way they interacted.
They flirted, laughed, and brushed against each other as they unsaddled and brushed down the horses. Was the brushing incidental? Had Belinda just looked longingly at Mike, or was Jagger getting paranoid because of the doubt her dad was trying to shove into his mind? He wanted to reach for her, go to her.
Jagger gritted his teeth and clenched his fists until his jaw and his arms ached. Why had he agreed not to go out there? If he could just burst onto the scene, Belinda would light up, and her love for him would be more than evident to everyone in the barn.
The longer he listened and observed, fear crept in. What if she didn’t light up and prove she loved Jagger and only Jagger? He hated fear. He was a determined warrior and would succeed at all costs. How could he doubt the woman he loved and be scared she didn’t love him any longer?
Mike was as easygoing and happy as Jagger remembered from the times he’d interacted with the guy. Belinda was shiny, happy, and … peaceful. He’d never really seen her peaceful. She was always riled up and either laughing, teasing, goofing around, or fighting with him, or he was kissing her to stop her from fighting with him. It always worked.
Could it be possible …? Was Jagger all wrong for her?
His gut churned, and he was glad he hadn’t eaten anything.
Mike and Belinda led their horses into stalls, and Jagger could barely see the two of them. Then disaster struck. They walked out of the side-by-side stalls and closed the gates. Mike gently spun Belinda and pinned her against the stall. He bent and kissed her.
Jagger drew in a ragged breath, stunned, certain he was seeing this wrong. Surely Belinda would push Mike away, slap him, tell him only Jagger could kiss her.
But Belinda slid her arms around Mike’s neck and kissed him back.
Jagger wanted to rip Mike apart, but he felt frozen and nauseated. He couldn’t get enough oxygen into his lungs. Ice slammed through his heart.
Leaning against the stall, he closed his eyes. He couldn’t stand to watch any longer, but the image of Mike and Belinda was seared into his brain.
He heard Belinda giggle, and his eyes flew open. Mike lifted her easily into his arms, cradled her against his chest, and carried her out of the barn. Whatever the guy said to her made her laugh and cuddle into him.
No! This couldn’t be happening. His Bee couldn’t be leaning into some other guy, flirting with him, laughing, teasing, kissing him. She was committed to Jagger. A hundred percent. Belinda might be sassy, maybe even ‘flighty and flaky’ like his mom had worried about, but not with him. She was loyal. Loyal to Jagger. Always.
His stomach dropped out and even leaning against the barn stall, he could hardly stand upright. Apparently Belinda was not loyal to him any longer. He’d seen her flirt, laugh, touch, and kiss Mike Causey.
His Bee was a backstabbing cheater.
The truth stabbed him like a thousand ice picks. Every inch of his body hurt. Jagger wanted to yell out his anguish, chase after Belinda, force her to look into his eyes and say she didn’t love him any longer. Then he’d live his life alone. Like his mom. He’d never love again.
