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He pulled back to catch a breath and laughed. His own happiness at their reunion made his dark eyes sparkle.
They were both wet from the surf. Carrying her back to the soft sand of the beach, he set her on her tiptoes, running his strong hands up and down her back and making her quiver. She leaned into him and returned the favor, running her hands over his strong shoulders and down his back, then back up to frame his handsome face, feel the rugged manliness of his jaw and short beard.
“Jag,” she murmured. “I have ached for you.”
She didn’t know if she should be so transparent when nothing was resolved between them and she still had no answers to why he’d ditched her. Yet if he couldn’t feel how much she loved him from these kisses, he was slow—and her Jagger was anything but slow.
“Bee …” He looked over her face with a sense of awe and reverence she’d never seen from him. Even when they were together.
Maybe she could understand why they’d had to go through such a rough patch. The awful separation would make them even more appreciative of each other and any time they could carve out together. They’d be more in love, joined in purpose, full of each other and the future joy they could only find as a happily married couple.
“Nothing’s been right without you, Bee,” he said. “I should never have let you go. It’s always been you for me. Always.”
His words were tender and beautiful, and the way he looked at her made them even more impactful, but it slammed into her—the reason nothing had been right was because he shouldn’t have let her go. He’d ditched her. Shoved her away, actually.
Her Jag, who fought for everything that was important to him, hadn’t fought for her. That dug at her soul and tender-for-him heart as deeply as it had every time she’d let her mind wander down that forbidden train of thought during the past fourteen years. How could it always be her for him if he hadn’t made any effort to come for her, to make things right, for fourteen miserable years?
A different kind of fire built inside her chest. Her normally perceptive Jagger didn’t feel the shift. He bent his head to capture her lips again, and she exploded.
“How could you ditch me?” she yelled against his lips.
“How …” He straightened and looked down at her. Though he still held her close, there was instantly a brick wall slammed between them. It had disappeared for a few minutes, but this wall had been built and the mortar hardened to unbreakable stone every day since he’d blocked her number.
“I ditched you?” His voice wasn’t angry, just filled with disbelief. “You cheated on me with Mike. Then you married him.”
“I didn’t cheat,” she protested, but hot shame filled her. She wasn’t innocent in this debacle. Salt water dripped down her legs and from her dress, making her even more uncomfortable. “Okay, I sort of did cheat on you. I tried to give him a chance that summer and kissed him once. But it’s not like you think,” she rushed to add as his brow furrowed. “I always loved you. When he kissed me, I knew it was all wrong and all I wanted was you. But … how would you even know that I cheated on you?”
“I saw it with my own eyes. I watched you flirt with him, touch him, and kiss him.” He pulled back but still didn’t release her, shaking his head. “Bee … it was awful. But I still would’ve fought for you. Fought to keep us together. I did fight for you, but your dad won the fist fight and I promised … I never should have let him sucker me in. Talk about bargaining with the devil.” He gritted the words out, and as he stared at her, it was now with a mixture of frustration and longing.
“What on earth are you talking about?” She pulled free of his arms, staring up at him in confusion. “You didn’t fight for me. You blocked my number and didn’t respond to my emails. No way did you see Mike kiss me with your own eyes. You were in A-school training in Virginia the day that happened. How dare you call my dad the devil! What does he have to do with any of this?”
Jagger’s jaw hardened and his eyes narrowed. “Your dad has everything to do with this. He didn’t tell you what happened the day I came to the ranch?”
“You haven’t been to the ranch since before I left for Africa and you started basic.”
“Are you serious?” he ground out. “Your parents didn’t tell you.” He shook his head, disgust radiating from him.
“What are you spouting? When did you come to the ranch?”
“September twenty-seventh,” he said, his fists clenching and his arm muscles engaging. “I finally got leave and I was worried about you, about us. I understood when you were Africa and I was in basic that it was difficult to connect, but even though you were back in the country, you rarely had time to accept my calls and your texts were brief and impersonal.”
She acknowledged that with a nod. It had been a weird time, and she’d been feeling the pressure from her parents and Mike. She’d also been experiencing a lot of distance emotionally from Jagger with over four months of not seeing each other and rarely hearing his voice.
“You’d said you were going home that weekend, so I drove the ten hours to your ranch to surprise you. Your mom answered the door and tried to talk me out of dating you.”
“My mom would never,” she protested.
“Really?” He raised an eyebrow. “When I insisted I see you, your dad burst out of the house and said I was all wrong for you, asked me to let you go, and claimed I made you angry and made you cry.”
Belinda had no quick response for that. Jagger did bring out more emotion in her than anyone in this world, but she thrived on it. She’d felt almost lifeless without him, even with her incredible purpose and how much she adored the children and families she helped. Only God’s strength and her parents’ love and support had gotten her through. And Jagger hadn’t made her cry because he hurt her—not at that point in their relationship, anyway. She’d cried the past fourteen years because she missed him so much.
“Your dad said if he could prove you were happier with Mike and that you loved him, I had to let you go.”
“What?” Her mom and dad had pushed her toward Mike, but they would never interfere in her life like that. It would be heavy-handed and awful.
He nodded. “I told your dad he’d never prove you loved Mike and the only way I was leaving without talking to you was if I was bloody, unconscious, and he dragged me off the property.”
Her eyes widened. That sounded horrible. Her mild-mannered, preacher father would never do something like that. Was Jagger making this up?
