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* * *
Nikki and I stayed until the ceremony was over, and I was certain she was sizing up the buffet of local men. The crowd applauded, some hooted and hollered, but eventually, everyone dispersed in the direction of the family resort. Nikki linked her arm with mine as we sauntered in the opposite direction back toward our resort.
“So,” she said conspiratorially, “are we going to talk about it?”
With an attempt at ignorance, I said, “Talk about what?”
“How every time you seem to have an issue with a relationship you’re in, Jason somehow magically appears.”
“We’re not in college anymore. And it’s not like I’m still crushing on him like I was back then. Jesus, I’m thirty now.”
“Age has nothing to do with attraction and you know it. I saw how you were with him then, and it was not just some schoolgirl crush. And I will be completely honest—that nervous giggle you gave when he picked you up back there does not instill confidence that the feeling has faded.”
“I haven’t been lifted into the air in a bear hug in years. I wasn’t expecting it, so I giggled. There’s nothing for you to read into here. I am not some clump of tea leaves to read a fortune from.”
We were already halfway into the jungle separating the two resorts, and I could feel her getting flustered with how easily I was brushing off her insinuations. Jason was a great friend back in our college days, and while I had feelings for him throughout our four years there, our timing never lined up. When we met, I was still with my high school sweetheart. And when we broke up, I realized how attracted to Jason I was. That was when I found out he was with Annie. Then they broke up just a few months into my relationship with a guy I couldn’t even recall the name of, who I thought must have been a football player. But he was only a rebound that I didn’t know how to handle. Once I dumped him, Jason was with a freshman girl, and not long after that, I started a relationship with an acting major. Then suddenly he was back with Annie for good.
Except… that’s what I told myself, but it wasn’t completely true. My heart climbed into my throat as the memory became clearer. I rarely ever thought about it, unless we somehow ended up at the same wedding, the same party, and now the same tropical island. That one brief moment…
“I remember those days,” said Nikki. “I was your roommate for all four years and I saw how you were with him, and how you were without him. You had it bad.”
“It was a lifetime ago. And our timing was always off.”
Nikki laughed. “Right.”
“Why sarcasm? We never had a chance, and it’s never going to happen, anyway.”
She halted in her tracks and glared at me. “So you’re just going to completely wash over the one night you two spent together?” How could she know? I never spoke about it after graduation. My expression could only have been utter confusion, because she continued, “Senior year? You’d just dumped arrogant asshole, Paxton, and we went to the bar to celebrate, remember?”
It was nearly a decade before, and while the idea started hazy, the details were beginning to flood back as she spoke. “I forget sometimes that you were right there through it all.”
“Every agonizing minute. Let’s get a couple drinks and we can talk it out.”
Four
Unforgettable
Nine Years Ago…
I sat at the local college bar with Nikki, our Long Island Iced Teas with long straws sat on the countertop in front of us. The music pounded throughout the bar since it was more of a club than a pub, so drinks and dancing were the most popular things to do there. A conversation could only be held either outside with the smokers or at the one part of the bar perfectly positioned away from the speakers. Nikki, having heard me say the magic words, “We broke up,” had dragged me to the bar and forced her way to the pair of choice seats we then held.
She took a deep drink, then turned to me with a look of practiced commiseration. “Tell me everything.”
“I was just tired of it, you know? He’s so pretentious, and he’s not even smart enough to be as pretentious as he pretends to be!”
“You’re not upset about the breakup?”
“No. I dumped him. I’m ecstatic it’s over.”
“Oh thank god, I don’t have to pretend to be sad with you,” sighed Nikki as she took another gulp of her drink. She signaled to the bartender to grab another round.
“He was always talking over me or saying that I was wrong about the shit that I was studying. If I had known what a chauvinist pig he was at the beginning, I never would have dated him. But he’s…”
“I know,” she groaned.
“He’s so goddamn pretty, you know?”
“He’s the biggest asshole, but I wouldn’t mind it if he threw me a bone once. But I would make a point to tell him how I am strictly using him for his body and that I will never speak to him again afterward.”
