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“Not for work! For fun! Do you want to see the world and have adventures? Do you want to peer over the edge of the Cliffs of Dover? Do you want to stand at the base of the Sphinx? Do you want to snorkel in the coral reef?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Maybe,” I repeated. It was a word I’d heard from him more than I could count. “Either you do or you don’t.”
“What does it matter? We won’t ever do any of those things anyway.”
“You’re right, we won’t.” I stood up, realizing I still held his toiletry kit. I tossed it into his suitcase, along with his neatly folded pajamas, and zipped it closed. Setting it on the floor, I wheeled it back to where he sat. He stared at me, unable to speak. “I’ll tell you the truth: I decided to break up with you yesterday. Today, you only made me realize that I should have done it so much sooner.”
“I came all this way, spent all this money on flights and the extension of the cabin reservation, and bought you a damn ring, and you expect me to what? Leave?”
“I expect you to respect my boundaries and see yourself out.”
“No. This is our anniversary vacation.”
“It was our anniversary vacation. But you didn’t feel the occasion was important enough to remember, let alone actually want to join me until it suited you.”
“I proposed.”
“Which you only did as an apology and not out of actual love or respect,” added Jason.
“Dude,” said Nikki behind me. “She’s broken up with you. She doesn’t want to marry you.”
“If you’re not going to respect her wishes, we’re going to have a problem. So… Are we going to have a problem?”
Fred’s eyes narrowed at Jason. “What does this have to do with you? Why are you getting involved with another woman’s relationship?” He rounded back at me. “I told you to bring Nikki, not some other guy!”
“You didn’t tell me to do anything. I don’t take orders from you!”
“She’s not a servant, asshole,” chimed Nikki.
“And I’m not some ‘other guy,’ you know me.”
“I know you’re married!”
“What does that have to do with anything?” shouted Nikki, but Fred didn’t hear her.
“Where’s Annie? Does she know you’re here with my fiancée?”
“Oh my god, I am not your fiancée!”
The color rose in Jason’s face, and his gaze fixed on Fred like a target lock. I saw his fists clench, his shoulders tense. He was preparing himself for a fight, and I couldn’t let that happen.
“Where’s your wife?”
“So what if Jason is here with me?” I shouted. “Would you listen to him if he told you I don’t want you anymore? You aren’t listening to me when I say it.” Fred was silent, trapped in a staring contest with Jason. “Would you somehow respect his claim over me?”
They both broke eye contact to stare at me in surprise.
“I’m not a person to you, am I? I didn’t really see it until very recently, but that’s what it is. As long as I fill some need of yours, do the things you don’t want to do yourself, you’ll keep me around. Any decisions we made, like where to live, big purchases, I didn’t really have a say in. And if I had an opinion you didn’t agree with, you would argue me into submission or make it seem like I was stupid for feeling the way I did. That’s why we got the apartment closer to your family, but miles away from mine, despite the fact that you can’t stand your mother for more than an hour at a time. And when your job was thinking of transferring you to a foreign office but I didn’t want to leave my family and friends, you made it seem like I wasn’t making you a priority!”
“Jesus. You gaslit her,” said Jason. “No wonder she’s not as adventurous as she was in college; you abused it out of her.”
“I never laid a hand on her!”
“Emotional abuse, idiot,” spat Nikki. “She should bill you for the therapy she’s going to need.”
“You said you wanted to take care of me, but that’s another manipulation, too. Because you don’t want to take care of me, you want me to take care of you. Well I’m done,” I said. “You can have that expensive and tiny apartment, and you can figure out how to cook and clean for yourself. I won’t be there when you get back.”
