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“Yeah,” continued Jason, halfheartedly. “Maybe.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said again. “I’ve been trying and trying to get him to notice me and nothing changes. This relationship has changed me into this passive little damsel, hoping to bat my eyes in just the right way to catch his attention. I used to be bold, take charge. Hell, I’m half certain that my books sell so well because they’re fantasies I wish I was living. This trip has changed all that. I feel alive. I feel more like me than I have in years. So this whole garbage situation with Fred, it doesn’t matter anymore. You know why? Because I’m done.”
Nikki’s brow furrowed, and her eyes widened. “Done?”
“Yup. Finito. I am through waiting around for my own boyfriend to realize what I am worth. It’s over. I am done with Fred.”
“Maybe you’ve had a little much to drink. Too much excitement for one day,” said Nikki, indiscreetly pulling my drink away from me on the table.
“For the first time in a long time, I am thinking very clearly. Once I get back home, I am moving out.”
* * *
A few hours later, I sat on my bed with a notebook in front of me, a jumble of complaints and arguments scribbled carelessly across the pages. I tried desperately to organize my thoughts into one coherent series of talking points I would attempt to memorize for the inevitable breakup speech. At that moment, it was just various ways of saying Fred had been ignoring my existence since moving in together. It was too repetitive.
Just as I was muttering a great point to myself, in search of the pen that had somehow instantly disappeared into the covers on the bed, I heard a door open from over the wall between the two bedrooms.
A light feminine giggle floated over the divider. “You must be the most popular dancer here,” I heard Nikki say. “The other men must get jealous of all the attention you draw.”
“While there is a shortage of single women as lovely as you that frequent the island, none of us can say we struggle too much,” said the deep voice of who I assumed was Siti.
A pang of terror filled me—they were going to get very naked very quickly, and there was no way I would be subjected to that. Still, I didn’t want to interrupt Nikki’s fun—it was her vacation, too, after all. In a panic, as I heard the smacking of their lips against various body parts I tried not to picture, I grabbed my shoes and ran out the front door.
It wasn’t fully dark out yet, but the sun was setting quickly. A cool breeze blew past me, and I regretted not grabbing my light jacket before escaping. I had no idea how long Nikki and Siti would be wrapped up in each other, and even less an idea of what I was going to do alone at this time of night. I’d already eaten, I wasn’t in the mood for any more drinks, and the spa portion of the resort had long closed, so a massage was out of the question. Briefly, I thought of sitting at the water’s edge and just relaxing for a while, but with the clouds above rolling overhead, it was clear another storm was coming. Plus, ever since I decided to free myself of Fred’s dead weight, I’d been bursting with energy.
I wandered along the beach toward the setting sun, through a small patch of jungle that would have been idyllic for a few photos in this lighting, but I’d left my phone in the room in my haste. As the jungle cleared, the oranges, pinks, and purples of the sun’s last light glowed faintly over the horizon. I passed a large campfire site and realized I was at the family resort where Jason was staying. I made my way toward the buildings at the edge of the greenery, only a few with lights on in the windows, and tried to remember Jason’s room number. Gladly, though, I was saved the embarrassment of knocking on a stranger’s door.
“Gemma?” called Jason from a short way down the beach. “What are you doing over here?”
“Nikki’s got a boy over,” I said in a mocking tone. “There’s no way I’m letting myself be an unwilling observer in their playtime.”
He pulled a face. “Oh, god. Yeah, I don’t blame you.” A flash of light startled both of us just before the resulting thunder shook the ground beneath our feet. “Come on, my villa’s just over here.”
His villa stood, like ours, separate from the other cabins to allow privacy, but it was clear even from the outside that this was a much more luxurious accommodation than I could have afforded. As I entered and looked around the room, I was astonished at how understated Jason’s phrase of ‘beachfront cabin’ was in describing this place. The front wall of the building was almost all glass, with gauzy white curtains to draw for privacy. There was a nice open sitting area to one side, a small dining area to the other, but the main attraction was at the back of the large main room: an over-sized king bed with four high-polished, tree-sized posts that sat atop a raised dais. This room clearly oozed tropical romance, and for a moment I had to stop myself from picturing the two of us tumbling around on the sheets.
“Jesus, this is one hell of a room. It makes mine look practically rustic.”
“Yeah. Annie booked it. I guess at the time she still had some idea that we might rekindle the fire once we saw this.”
I silently agreed that it was definitely successful in kindling a fire in me, even if it was not meant to. I had to tear my eyes away from the bed, its draw hypnotic, and stationed myself on one of the two plush sofas. I chose the one facing away from the bed. He sat next to me, and I noticed a small tumbler of some brown liquid on the table in front of him. “So, you must be disappointed she didn’t show,” I said.
He heaved a long sigh. “I honestly don’t know what I feel. Not really sure I would have come, myself. My job was sending me here, anyway, so I just told them I already had a booking and that was that. I won’t deny I kind of just expected her to be here.”
“She does always seem to come crawling back, doesn’t she?”
“Can’t imagine why,” he groaned and finished his drink with a grimace.
“I can.”
“Oh? Enlighten me.”
“Come on, you were spoiled for choice back in college. You were never single for long, admit that.”
“Yeah, but that was college. Everyone was horny and trying new things.”
“I know plenty of people who were single all four years and not by choice. Annie kept coming back because she knew you were one of the few truly good guys in the world. She came back because she couldn’t admit that what she wanted was a unicorn, a fairy-tale she made up in her own mind, and compared to that fictional unicorn, everyone else looks like a troll. Even the handsome princes.”
“You would say that,” he groaned.
