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“I’ll do my best,” he answers, but I know what that means. Avery accomplishes anything he sets his mind to—just like Ainsley.
It’s a damn shame those two don’t set their sights a little higher.
Chapter Ten
Victoria
Ihave to be up early for my class, but Sally talks me into dinner and wine with her at our apartment. Dinner is takeout and cheap wine from the little shop down the block from our ground level flat, but it’s a lovely little date anyway.
And my stories from the night before are good enough to make both of us forget about any shortcomings in the menu.
“He’s like, into you.”
“I mean, that’s what I thought too, especially after that shit he said on the beach, but now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I don’t know.”
“What’s not to know?”
“I mean, sure he said that stuff, but it could have just been the adrenaline from fucking or something.”
“I don’t think that’s a thing.”
I let out a sigh. “It’s just…it’s hard to believe that he could be so interested in me so quickly. And after having not dated anyone in, like, years? Why me?”
Sally shrugs and forces down another slug of her wine, trying not to grimace. “Men always want what they can’t have. Maybe he can sense the fact that you’ve got a big, nasty secret looming over you. Your dark cloud of deception is casting you in the perfect light.”
I roll my eyes and take a sip of my own wine. It really is a shame that they can’t import some nice pinots or even rosès from the States. I mean, they managed to get our peanut butter and Doritos on their shelves, why not wine?
I make a mental note to find out if the Merit Island house has a wine cellar.
“Our fling has an expiration date, that’s for sure,” I say finally. It’s what I keep reminding myself in my own head and it feels good to say it out loud. Makes it even more real. Because the worst possible thing I could ever do in this situation is take his kind words to heart and forget what it is we’re doing here.
“Well, get it while it’s good, I guess.” Sally holds her glass up and we cheers, but my heart isn’t in it.
It’s one thing to joke with my friend, or even to tell myself in my mind that this is a short-term thing. It’s quite another to be faced with the man himself and try to hold onto these thoughts. Try to do anything besides melt into a puddle at his feet. And then he goes and says stuff like I kind of want to see where this goes, and I let myself think that I want that, too.
But then the truth comes crashing down. I already know how this goes. We fuck for a while, I get attached while trying to play it cool and pretend I’m not attached, he leaves, and I pretend I’m okay with it while on the inside I’m devastated.
It’s the story of every “relationship” I’ve had in my short adult life, why would this one be any different?
Oh, maybe because I’m actually lying to him about something super important, which will be an extra spicy layer on the funeral pyre of my heart when this shit finally goes down. He’ll not only leave me for someone cooler or older or richer, he’ll do it knowing that I'm a deceitful, opportunistic loser who jumped from his son's cock to his with not even a week between them.
“Are you going all doomsday in there again?” Sally asks.
The woman has only known me for a short time, and yet she can already read my mind. I’m so grateful to have her here, especially for this one. I’m going to need extra comfort after the storm that is Ben Adams leaves me decimated.
“Yeah.”
“Girl, you gotta either do it or don’t do it. You can’t do it while also beating yourself up about doing it. Do you need a pros and cons list?”
I laugh darkly. “You mean, do I need to see the reasons why this is totally fucked up and I’m a huge gold-digging loser written out on paper? Pass.”
“Is that really what you think?”
I shrug. “It’s what he’s going to think when he finds out about Ainsley.”
“He’s not going to find out about Ainsley unless you get stupid and tell him.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
