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Surprisingly, she got up and out of bed with time to spare. She didn’t lay there as the cold sheets wrapped around her and stared at the ceiling, wishing the heaviness of sleep would overtake her. She didn’t count the hours she stayed awake throughout the night, wondering how much was too little to have a functioning mind.
When she got out of the shower, she wiped the steam from the mirror with a wet hand. A white towel wrapped around her, tucked across her reddening chest. Her long blond hair looked dark as water dripped from the edges onto the white tile floor.
She did something she hadn’t in a while; she looked at her reflection. Not a passing glance to make sure she still had two eyes and a nose. No, she really looked at herself. She traced where fine lines pulled at the corners of her eyes, examining the brown bags cupping beneath them. She chuckled as she thought about the scar that was now barely noticeable just above her lip from when she fell off the top of the jungle gym as a child, too convinced that she would fly if she hoped hard enough.
She’d been too hard on herself. She’d always been too hard on herself.
She begged herself to smile. Ah, there she is. Even if it was just a glimmer, the Julia she knew and loved was still there. The Julia that cried as stupid romantic movies, that screamed the loudest at every sporting event even though none of the little ones were hers, that used to paint. The Julia she liked. She wasn’t lost forever. Maybe, just maybe, Marin didn’t take everything.
She threw on her usual t-shirt, jeans, and cardigan. She twisted her hair into a bun and continued on with her routine.
One final vacuum.
One final wash.
One final scrub.
Making her way back to the kitchen, she grabbed a duster, determined to give her surfaces one final pass before Keegan’s arrival. Her mother’s voice swam in her head. Your surfaces can never be too clean, Julia. Her fingers grazed the feathers when the door opened.
“Wow!” Julia exclaimed. “I didn’t think I’d ever see the day you walk through that door on time.”
“Ha, ha, ha,” Keegan scoffed.
“That’s why we tell you events start at eleven when everyone else is arriving at noon,” Julia joked. “Did Ben kick you out?”
“He actually decided to do that stupid poker night thing.” She gave a childish face while unzipping her jacket.
“So, he did kick you out!” Julia burst into laughter. “I thought I’d never see the day!”
Keegan smirked. “No,” she teased, sticking out her tongue playfully. “I just figured I could drop the kids off at granny’s a little early.”
Julia took the rest of the trays over to the coffee table. In the background, she heard the satisfying pop of a cork being released from a bottle, followed by the gentle sound of cold liquid being poured into sparkling glasses. Both of them settled onto the couch and Julia went to reach for the remote, their routine in full swing.
There was something about Keegan’s posture that stopped her. Usually she’d come in, throw off her shoes and plop on the couch like she owned the place. She’d launch into a tirade about her husband’s habit of leaving his clothes next to the hamper instead of inside it, or how he still hadn’t fixed the stubborn bolt on the front door despite being asked for the hundredth time.
Today was different. Instead of any sense of normalcy, she poured them each a glass of wine, carefully setting them on the marble coasters without a word. She adjusted herself in the chair to the side instead of on the couch. Her feet were placed firmly on the floor, not tucked beneath her or slung over the arm. She avoided eye contact while she picked at the dip with a carrot, as if she had something to say but didn’t want to.
“What’s wrong?”
“Huh?” She jumped, almost choking on the vegetable she just stuck in her mouth.
“Keegs.”
“Julia.”
“Spill it!”
“Spill what? This wine is too good of a year to drop any!”
“What did Ben do this time?” Julia groaned, turning her attention back to the television as she fidgeted with the remote.
“Ben?” Keegan shook her head sincerely as she picked up her wine. “Oh nothing. He’s still the big lug he usually is. He’s been super lazy this week, but that’s the usual.”
“Is it the kids? Did Brianne not get past the waiting list at the elementary? Because I can make a call–”
Keegan let out a sigh. “No, it’s not that.”
“Is it serious?” Now Julia was concerned. She set the remote down and turned her full attention towards her best friend.
