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“For a best friend, you sure keep a lot of shit to yourself!” she shouted, and then she fell into Julia, hugging her. “I love you, even if you’re a dipshit sometimes.”
“I don’t know what to do,” Julia confessed, walking closer towards their cars. Keegan stopped as she approached Julia and leaned against the dirty exterior.
“As much as I’d love to have this conversation in this freezing air,” and then she chuckled, “that’s a lie. I don’t want to have this conversation in the middle of the parking lot. But remember that time I said you were an idiot?”
Julia rolled her eyes. “Can you take anything seriously? I’m freaking out!”
“You are an idiot!” she scoffed. “What do you mean, you don’t know what to do? There’s only one thing to do: tell her. Go after her.”
“But she’s leaving,” she sighed, leaning her tired body against the car. “She can’t stay here and I’m too old for long distance.”
“You’re too stubborn,” she corrected, “not too old.” She smirked as Julia rolled her eyes again. “Tell her,” she begged quietly. “Even if it doesn’t result in the outcome you hope for, you have to tell her.”
For once, Julia knew she was right.
***
“Dr. Jenner!” a voice called from the hall.
Julia froze with her key in the latch of her door, her briefcase in one hand and her jacket hanging off her shoulder. She didn’t even remember getting home last night. It seemed like the cars and yellow lights flew past her in a haze–an insignificant detail in a dream.
That morning she could barely settle the buzzing within her stomach, not able to finish even her first cup of coffee. She was too nervous, brought back to the anxiety of middle school when she had to ask a boy down the road to the Sadie Hawkins dance when really she wanted to ask her neighbor, Ceclia. How was she back to the I think I like you stage? Does it ever end!
“Dr. Jenner!” a voice repeated as heavy footsteps grew closer.
“Mr. Woodsten.” Julia turned towards the teacher as her door opened before her. “You’re here early,” she said as she smiled, hiding her disdain. “Is everything okay?”
“I just wanted to follow up regarding Tyler,” he stated very matter-of-factly. “I know that he–”
“Yes, Mr. Woodsten.” Julia nodded in agreement. “I know you have had several situations with him that you had to bring to my attention. He is currently in out-of-school suspension and I will be following up with his parents next week.”
“Great, because he has really–”
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Woodsten. I don’t mean to be rude, but I have a conference to get to this morning,” she spoke tactfully. “I would be more than happy to discuss your concerns further at another point. If you see Mrs. Morrow before you head to class, she’ll ensure we can speak soon.”
He grunted and gave a fake smile, his frustration not well hidden.
“Of course, Dr. Jenner,” he sputtered, nodding as he turned towards the hall.
When Julia stepped into her office, she closed the door with a gasp of relief. Since being back the day before, her door was a revolving escalator of teachers with student concerns, behavior issues, complaints about cut programs, or additional duties. Sometimes it was someone with a qualm about each.
Usually she’d welcome them with open arms, always willing to step in when times get tough, but she had too much on her plate. Her position didn’t allow her the luxury of taking a few days off without consequence, without the daily work of her life piling around her. Even with her to-do list and unread email list growing to the length of The Great Wall of China, she had to take care of something else first. She had to put herself first.
Julia - 6:58 a.m.
Can we meet for lunch today, please?
Her fingers hovered over that send button again, fighting the looming feeling of being a bother, but she pressed it anyways. Erin’s three blue dots fluttered on the screen, the message open and read. The three dots appeared, her unseen fingers floating on letters across the screen. Then they were gone. Again.
Julia - 7:02 a.m.
You have every right not to want to talk to me, Erin. But please. I really need to see you.
She opened her office door, hanging her jacket and setting down her bag behind her desk. Like a child waiting to be caught with her hand in a cookie jar, she peeked around the corner before emerging. She didn’t want another bombardment. When the coast was clear she made her way to Keegan in the front.
“Good morning,” Keegan said through a smile, holding out another coffee for Julia.
She knew she’d need it–knew she wouldn’t have gotten any sleep the night before with the thought of, possibility of, Erin expanding within her mind.
