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“There’re swimsuits in the second drawer,” I tell her, pulling her into the closet and dropping her hand to open my own dresser and pull out a pair of shorts.
Turning, I expect her to be searching through the huge dresser full of stuff we picked out for her, but instead, she’s scowling at the rails of clothes like they’ve done something to personally affront her.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Why did you buy me all this stuff?”
“Because we wanted you to have nice things.” I shrug, wondering why that isn’t obvious.
“But none of this stuff is me. You say you followed me for a whole year, that you know me. That you saw every single thing that I did and said in that time. But if that’s true, then why would you buy me all this stuff?”
“Alabama, we watched you trawl the rails at thrift stores and then put things back because you couldn’t afford them. We watched you jump into dumpsters and then wear the clothes you stole from them. Honestly, I was excited to buy new things for you. Expensive, luxurious things, because we saw how much you struggled and we wanted you to have everything you could ever want.”
Her expression turns pensive and blinking, she looks up at me. “If you knew even the first thing about me, you’d realize that my whole life, I’ve craved lots of things, but none of them were ever expensive or luxurious. Each item of clothing I had was something I worked hard to pay for, or found and turned into something that was exclusively mine. Yes, my clothes might have come out of thrift stores, or dumpsters, but they were mine. All this stuff.” She gestures to the closet full of designer clothes. “None of this is mine. I didn’t earn any of this. Everything on this island is yours, including me. You own this island. You own this house. You own all the toys in the barn and the beach cabana that’s bigger than the house my aunt lives in. You own Roza and Tanya and the guard whose life you were willing to end because of something I did. You three own all of this, and I’m just your latest purchase. Did any of you really think that bribing me with all this expensive stuff would make me feel less angry that you stole me away from my life and dropped me into yours?”
“Honestly,” I say, feeling my chest hollow and all of the happiness from only an hour ago fade away. “Yeah, I thought it might help.”
Her scoff is so derisive, the sound is like a kick to the gut.
“We wanted you, so we took you. There were other ways we could have kept you safe from Orlov’s men, but you’re ours, so we brought you here, and even if you hate us all for the rest of your life, I don’t think any of us will regret making that choice. We could have taken you to our apartment in New York, or a safe house in Connecticut. We could have hidden you in Europe in one of our properties over there, but none of them are as safe as here. On this island, you’re untouchable. This place doesn’t exist to anyone but the locals, and even they don’t care who lives here. On this island is as safe as we can make you, and if bringing you here makes you hate us, then I’d still bring you here over and over again, because I’d rather have you despising us and alive, than being broken by Orlov in Mother-fucking-Russia.” Turning, I open her dresser, pull out the first bathing suit I see and throw it at her, before I turn and storm out of the room.
CHAPTER 21
alabama
I hate that I feel almost bad as I watch him storm away. The suit he threw at me is on the floor at my feet and bending down, I pick it up, looking at the simple black bikini. It’s ironic that this is the first thing from the closet that’s actually my color.
Sighing, I wonder if I should go after him or just stay here. Today has been a lot and it’s barely two p.m. Dealing with these men is exhausting, and the idea of curling up in the comfortable bed I shared with Dimitri last night and just going to sleep is so incredibly tempting.
I feel like I’m on emotional overload. At breakfast I was angry and hostile, but then after everything that happened in the office with the three of them and then spending time with Vik, I almost felt relaxed. There’s something about him that’s disarming and likable. While I was spending time with him, he made it really hard to remember why I hate him so much.
Being here with them is like being on a rollercoaster. One minute I’m high from their attention and painfully honest bluntness, but then seconds later, I hit the ground with a thud and I’m reminded that being here isn’t a choice. They kidnapped me and now they just what…? Expect me to fall in love with them and live happily ever after?
I watched a documentary about victims falling for their captors on the TV. At the time, I thought that what they called Stockholm syndrome was a crock of shit. But now, I’m wondering if those victims’ kidnappers were as enigmatic and brutally charming as these three. Because I can already see how I could end up de-villainizing them.
The problem is, that the more they tell me there’s no way off this island, the more I’m starting to believe them. But how do I know it’s not all a lie they’re telling me so I don’t bother searching for a way to escape? For all I know, there could be a police department and an airport on the other side of the island. I could be only miles from freedom, and just have no idea.
Stepping out of the closet, I look around for Lev and when I don’t see him, I dart into Dimitri’s bedroom and close the door behind me. I know I probably shouldn’t be in here, but if they don’t want me to be in their space, they should lock their doors. They have them, after all.
Undressing, I pull on the bikini and then look at myself in the mirror. The swimsuit is minute, a tiny bottom with strings that tie at my hips and a top that consists of two tiny triangles that barely cover my nipples, and strings that tie at my back and neck.
My hair is a little lank, the ends uneven from where I cut them myself. My skin is pale and I’m the kind of skinny that doesn’t say, I could be a model, it says, I can’t afford to eat.
I’ve never had one guy show interest in me, let alone three. So, there must be a reason, beyond what they’ve already told me, to explain why they seem so consumed by me. All of them, individually and together, have told me that I’m theirs, that they know unequivocally that I’m the woman they all want to share. But I don’t get it, what could they have seen in me that made them think I’m the girl for them?
In the last year, I haven’t dated, flirted, or even spoken to a guy who wasn’t someone I worked with or a customer at the bar. I worked and I slept and then I got up and worked again. They must have been bored out of their brains if all they’ve done is follow me around for the last twelve months.
Sighing, I sit down on the edge of the bed. Everything Lev said has made me feel like an ungrateful bitch, but I didn’t ask for this. Not the Russian gangster bio dad, nor the three looming psychos who kidnapped me for my own good, nor the closet full of designer clothes. None of this was my choice, so if I want to act like a brat, then that’s my prerogative. Jesus, anyone else in this situation would still be rocking in a corner.
All of a sudden, I feel exhausted. This entire situation is just too hard. Lifting my feet onto the bed, I roll to my side and exhale. Tucking my hands beneath my cheek I try to figure out how the hell I’m supposed to navigate this alternative universe I’ve been thrown into.
I must fall asleep, because the next thing I know, the mattress is sinking beside me. Old habits die hard, and I jolt upright, turning, sitting up and pulling my knees to my chest in a single move.
“Easy, Malishka,” Dimitri says, reaching out slowly and cupping my cheek in his warm palm.
Blinking, I try to remember how I got here, then my argument with Lev plays on repeat in my mind and I sigh. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“I like finding you half naked in my bed, feel free to do it whenever you please. But I should warn you, Lev is a little upset with you.”
