Callum takes a minute to think. “I don’t think so, no. I mean, it’s not that easy to find girls—or guys—open to the idea. It takes a fair bit of trust.”
He’s right. If I didn’t trust him, I certainly wouldn’t have taken valerian specifically intending on letting him do whatever he pleased with my body while I was out of it.
“But I know he’s paid some people to play out his little fantasy, a few times.”
It makes absolute sense—why resort to violence when cash can get him what he wants?—and I shouldn’t be shocked. Isn’t that the Noble way? He paid me, too. And so long as they consented to do it, it doesn’t matter whether it’s for money or because they find it hot.
“That’s a pretty sweet gig. Earning money while you sleep.”
“I’m not sure they think so the next day. Caden is probably a rough motherfucker.” I feel Callum’s chuckle against my back. “Ugh, I hate your bed. Come home with me.”
I’m the one who made a point of coming here, but now we’re on the hard, lumpy piece of furniture, and I decide I hate my bed too. “Okay.”
There are things which are just not worth arguing about. Sleeping on this torture device definitely is one of them.
“Do you have a suitcase? You should bring some things, so you don’t have to rush back to get changed or whatever.”
This, I should probably argue against. I come back to campus daily to study in any case; popping back by my room is no hardship.
But it would be awfully convenient to have a few things at his place, given how much time I’m spending there. And I’m too tired, content, and practical to shoot myself in the foot.
“Sure.”
CHAPTER 22
liv
It takes three weeks for him to say it, as he helps me unpack more clothes and some of my schoolbooks.
“You could just move in, you know.”
In all honesty, I have to commend his restraint, because I’m fairly certain the words have been on the tip of his tongue for days.
“I mean,” he adds casually, “I have the room. You can have a walk-in closet. Half of the office. Or your own office, for the sake of both of our productivity.”
“No, Cal, I can’t.” I roll my eyes. “We’ve been together for a month and known each other for two. That would be insanity. We’re not insane.”
“Aren’t we?” He shoots me a grin that highlights those cheekbones. “We’re not the definition of sane either.”
“True. But I’m not going to move in with you. What if you grow tired of me? Where would I live?”
He exhales loudly. “Does it seem to you like I’d get tired, darling?”
It doesn’t; but that doesn’t mean he won’t. The thing with Callum is, he’s a little obsessive around the edges. That’s why we ended up here. I don’t have a high enough opinion of myself to think I’ll be his sole, and last obsession. He has me now. Someday, he’ll likely move onto the next shiny thing. And there’s nothing wrong with that. People get together, have fun and break up all the time. I just have to make sure I come out on the other side with a life. And a place to live.
I’m trying to work out how to say all of that without making it sound like I don’t trust him—I do. I trust that he likes me and is enjoying my company. I just don’t think it’ll be forever. And who would think they’d spend forever with their boyfriend after one month? Especially given how we started.
“Look, Cal?—”
“I’ll drop it for now,” he announces, surprising me.
I cock an eyebrow. “Really?”
That’s not like him at all to give up so easily.
“Yep. You’re about to say no, along with a lot of other words that won’t please me. Let’s skip that. You’re not ready. Consider the subject dropped.”
Well, that was easy. He mustn’t have been as keen on the idea as I thought. Or at least, he understands my point. I smile and keep packing, firmly intent on not analyzing the degree of disappointment I feel because he gave up so easily.