Money worries have crowded my mind for so long, and now that they’ve faded, I can think clearly.
I don’t have to go to a job I hate.
When I reach Q’s place, the townhouse is empty.
Now, I shut the door, and the snick echoes around the empty hallway. I shake my head at myself in the hallway mirror.
“Ridiculous,” I repeat.
It's taken this incident and losing my job to open my eyes; to realize I don’t have to go to work anymore. I didn’t have to suffer through the indignity of what happened today. In fact, I don't have to do anything I don’t want to do. The sense of freedom makes me almost giddy.
I blow out a breath and roll my shoulders, trying to work out some of the knots.
The housekeeper, who comes in daily to clean up, must have left the lights on in the conservatory. I walk toward it, and when I glance outside, I see the hot tub on the deck. I admit, I’ve been tempted to use it before, but I opted not to. Mainly, because I’ve been on tenterhooks, wondering when I’ll run into either Quentin or Felix, and that's kept me confined to my room. Three nights of not seeing either of them—not even in the kitchen, has given me the courage.
Given the emotional upheaval of today, I’ve earned it, haven’t I?
I head straight for the deck behind the conservatory and switch on the hot tub. The jets begin to gurgle and flow, with steam almost instantly rising up from the water. I return to my room, get changed into a swimsuit, slip on a robe, and grab a towel. En-route to the tub, I grab a bottle of red wine, open it, and with a glass, walk back onto the deck. Then, I slip off my robe and get into the tub.
Pouring myself a glass of wine, I take a sip, then lean back and sigh. Looking up, I see the full moon in the sky. It’s too cloudy to make out stars, but the radiance of the moonlight makes up for it.
Slowly, my muscles unwind. I take another sip, then place the glass aside. I place the rolled-up towel under my neck at the lip of the tub, then stretch out. I am in that floating, half-drowsy state when I hear footsteps approach.
I crack open my eyelids to find Felix standing on the other side of the tub. He’s wearing swimming trunks and his torso is bare. He also sports a black eye. "Felix, you’re hurt," I sit up.
He shakes his head.
"I’m good, really."
"You don’t look… good."
"Thanks." He half smiles. "Mind if I join you?" He jerks his chin in the direction of the jets.
I pop a shoulder.
"If you’d rather I leave—" He turns to go, and I almost let him.
But then I remember how he came to my defense when that delivery driver came onto me. And despite the fact the other guy was much bigger, Felix didn’t hesitate to launch himself at him.
It makes me feel a little kinder toward him... Or maybe the hot tub and the wine have worked their magic and I'm feeling magnanimous enough not to castrate him right away. "Felix, it’s fine. You can… join me,” I call after him.
He pauses but doesn’t turn around. He hangs his head. There’s a defeated look to his posture. He looks so pathetick I begin to feel bad for him. Yes, he acted like an ass, but also, it can’t be easy knowing I’m going to marry his father. And while a part of me feels he deserves the discomfort this causes him, he was my friend once. And he was there for me when I was struggling for money and to take care of my family.
"I could… do with the company,” I throw out.
He nods, then turns and walks into the tub. He keeps to his end, which is so wide, that when he stretches out, there’s plenty of space between our toes. For a few seconds, the only sound is the gurgling of the jets. Then he tips his head at the bottle of wine. "May I?"
I grab the bottle, top myself up, then lean over and hand it to him.
"Salut." He raises the bottle in my direction and takes a sip. "Fuck, this is good."
"It is."
"The old man has good taste; I’ll give him that."
I look away, then back at him. "Why did you do it, Felix? Why did you not… decide the day before or the morning of the wedding? And to break it off with a text, not addressed to me… That was?—"
"—a horrible thing I did to you." He sits up straight. "I am so sorry, Viv. I truly am. I just… lost my nerve. I saw you before the ceremony, all dressed up in your bridal gown and I… I?—"