I shake my head. “It’s not. And it’s her decision who she decides to marry.”
“But you asked her to move in so you could influence her mind,” a whining note enters his voice.
“Guilty as charged. I won’t deny that. Also, she wanted to move out of the apartment she shared with you, understandably. It would have been awkward for the both of you. I had the space, so I asked her to move in with me.”
“You expect me to believe you did it out of the goodness of your heart? One you don’t have, by the way?”
I sigh, then widen my stance. “You already know I want to marry her, and?—”
“Stop it!” He jumps up to his feet. “Do you have any idea how obscene that is? A father wanting to marry his son’s ex? Have you no shame? No guilt? No remorse for what you’re doing? You—” He shakes his head, seemingly at a loss for words. “How could you do this? The one thing I want for myself, and you stride in and take it away from me.”
“You dumped her. She’s not your girlfriend or your fiancée,” I remind him.
“But you want to make her my stepmother... That’s... just indecent. For once, can’t you think of my feelings? Can’t you see how difficult this is for me?”
And for me—fuck!
My heart pounds in my chest. Sweat pools under my armpits. I knew this confrontation with Felix was coming, but nothing prepared me for the depth of hurt in his eyes. For the anguish on his face. For the remorse that courses through my veins and turns my stomach to stone.
“Felix, son—” I reach for him, but he shakes me off.
“Don’t touch me. Don’t call me son. You... You’re doing exactly what I expected you to do. You’re being selfish and looking out for yourself, not caring how much your actions hurt me.”
I stiffen. He’s right. I’ve been fooling myself by thinking I could gloss over the issues having Raven in my life raises with my son. He may have broken up with her, but his feelings for her haven’t faded. Then, to see her with his father? That can't be easy for him to stomach.
His upbringing wasn’t kind to him. First, his mother left him. Then, I was an absentee father. It's enough to have caused abandonment issues. Likely, his not turning up at his own wedding was a means to protect himself from hurt. Before Raven could abandon him, like his mother had and, to an extent, how I had, he abandoned her. I’m to blame for his inclination to self-sabotage. No way, do I want to hurt him further.
And yet, I can’t not go through with my plan to marry Raven, either. She is mine. Just as much as he is my son. Only, I need to give her space to realize she belongs to me, and not because I tell her so.
As for Felix... He needs to draw the same conclusion, without my trying to explain the situation further to him. Anything I say or do will make it worse. I need him to understand the connection Raven and I have. I need him to recognize that it was inevitable that she'd marry me.
“You’re wrong,” I say softly.
His forehead furrows. “What do you mean?”
“It means I’m asking you to move into my place.” When I retired from the military and accepted a position with the Davenport Group, I bought this townhouse in Primrose Hill. I decided to keep a suite for Felix, should he ever want to stay at my place. In my mind, my home has always been his and he's welcome here. Felix didn't take me up on that offer. Perhaps this is the opportunity to entice him to stay under my roof. Forced proximity is one way to try to forge a bond with my son. It may not be the most effective of ideas, but it's all I've got.
He gapes at me, but before he can react, her gasp of surprise reaches us. “What do you mean?”
Both of us turn to find she’s standing at the entrance to the room.
20
Vivian
That cannot be what he said. I look from Felix, whose face reflects the shock I’m feeling, to Quentin, who’s watching me carefully.
“Did I hear you right? Did you ask your son—my ex—to move in and stay here at the same time as me?” I burst out.
Quentin clenches his jaw. Then slowly nods. “I’ve allocated a self-sufficient apartment for him within the house. It’s on the opposite wing from the main part of the house and has a separate entrance.” He turns to Felix. “You’d have your independence and wouldn’t have to run into me or Vivian.”
He’d still be in the same house as me and Q though. I shake my head. This is insane. He can’t possibly imagine the three of us could co-exist. Yes, Felix will be in an apartment in a different wing, but under the same roof? What a disaster. What’s going on in that mind of his? What is he trying to plan here?
Of course, Felix has a right to be here. This is his father’s home, after all. My head spins, and a tightness takes hold behind my eyes. Why do I get the feeling I’m seeing what Quentin wants to show me? So far, I haven't been able to look past his gorgeous face and his spectacular body, and the fact that he seems to be so taken by me. Enough to propose to me as soon as he saw me. Despite myself, I’ve been flattered by it. And the events of the last few days have begun to reveal the man behind the façade he wears. A man I’ve begun to like. A man I know doesn’t share what he’s thinking. But no way could he have the notion that inviting his son to move in while I'm here is a good idea. I'm furious. And heartbroken, and damn him, but I also feel betrayed that he put me in this position.
He must see the emotions running across my face, for he takes a step in my direction.
“Don’t—” I shake my head, then pivot on my heels and hurry out and back toward his bedroom.