AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"This is going to break him." I pull her closer. "If it had been you in there, I wouldn’t have survived.” That’s how much I’ve fallen for her. That’s how much a part of me she is. That’s how difficult it’s going to be when she leaves me.
She looks up into my eyes. "That’s a very nice thing to say, but?—"
"I mean it." I peer into her features. "Ensuring you’re taken care of is the number one priority in my life. As long as I’m alive, you’ll never lack for anything." I swallow. “That much, I promise. And even if I’m not with you, you’ll never have to worry about money ever again. You’ll be able to paint without worrying about anything else.”
Her forehead furrows, and a touch of panic comes into her eyes. “I don’t understand. Why are you talking like this? Why are you acting like you’re going somewhere, Q?” Her eyebrows knit. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s a shock, losing Karma like this, is all. To see a young life cut short is nothing short of tragic. I’ve seen enough of it on my missions, and you’d think it would get easier with time, but it doesn’t.” I swallow.
“I’m so sorry, Q. Of course, it’s not easy for you. What can I do to make it better?” Her gaze grows earnest. “Tell me, please.”
I lean in closer and murmur against her lips, “You can kiss me.”
43
Vivian
He distracted me with that kiss. I knew that’s what he was trying to do, and I let it happen. In my defense, that kiss was sweet and tender and life affirming. Warmth bloomed in my chest and spread to my extremities. My fingers tingled, and my toes curled. My heart began to race, and all thoughts fled from my head.
I held his face between my hands and deepened the kiss, and he let me. For the first time, he let me lead the kiss. It filled me with a sense of power that was heady. A part of me was also taken aback, and a kernel of worry was born inside me, but I pushed it away. I crawled into his lap, and he held me and continued to kiss me and nibble on my mouth all the way home. Then, he led me into our bedroom and made love to me.
It was slow, and intense, and he made sure he made me climax thrice before he came. I fell asleep in his arms, and the next day. I woke up to find him gone.
I didn’t see him all that day, nor the day after. Last night was the third night we’ve been apart since we returned to London. I waited up until two a.m. but fell asleep before he came home.
This morning, when I wake up, there's a dent in the pillow, which shows he came to bed. But he was gone before I woke up, which means he's getting very little sleep.
I swallow down the mounting panic which bubbles below the surface of my thoughts. This isn't a sign of anything but his grief over Karma, I tell myself sternly. He's not avoiding me on purpose. He’s not. Besides, he texted me a few times and apologized that he wasn’t around. He also made sure our belongings were returned from his country home, so it’s not like he hasn’t been thinking of me.
He insists he has work to catch up on after the couple of days he was away, which is fair enough, I suppose. Of course, he has a business to run which takes up his time. But it would be nice if he also made time for me. We are newly married. Isn’t this the time husbands can’t get enough of their wives? Isn’t this when every night is supposed to be a fuckfest? And our honeymoon has shown me how much he wants me. So why is he staying away from me?
Then there’s our conversation before he kissed me in the car which I can’t get out of my mind. His words hinted that he foresaw a future when we weren't together. Of course, there are no guarantees in any relationship, but my subconscious tells me there’s something more behind his keeping his distance from me.
At the same time, I don’t want to come across as too needy, so I’ve decided to give him space. Still, a part of me is a little angry, and also sad, that our honeymoon ended so quickly.
Less than ten days into our marriage, and I'm rattling around his empty house on my own. I know he has business to attend to; but he could, at least, spend the nights with me? I need to talk to him, but damn, if I’m going to have this conversation over the phone. On the other hand, damn, if I’m going to wait around here for him to turn up.
I reach for my phone when it buzzes with an incoming video call.
“Zoey!” I accept the call. “How are you?”
“Hey, how are you doing? Did you hear about Karma?” Her features fill the screen.
I swallow around the ball of emotion in my throat. “Q got a call when we were on our honeymoon at his country estate. We left and came straight to the hospital. We were there with Summer and Sinclair when the doctor broke the news.”
Zoey sniffles. “It’s so sad. She was so gifted, so talented and now—” She shakes her head. “Those poor kids of hers. My heart goes out to them.”
I feel my own tears well up and blink them away. “Yeah, it’s such a tragedy. I had no idea she was that sick. And to think, she took time out to leave me that video message.” My heart squeezes in on itself. I manage to get my emotions under control to ask, “Have you heard anything about the funeral?”
“Not yet. I didn’t want to bother Summer with my questions. She has a lot on her plate right now,” Zoey murmurs. “I also didn’t want to bother you, in case you were still in honeymoon land, but I couldn’t stop myself from checking in to find out how you're getting along, you know?”
“We’re okay... I guess?” It seems wrong to complain about how my husband is keeping his distance from me, when Karma’s kids have lost a mother.
“Uh, oh”—Zoey’s forehead furrows—“trouble in paradise already?”
“Eh, nothing like that…” I hesitate. “Maybe he’s been busy with work since we got back, is all.”
“But doesn’t he come home at night? You two are sharing a bed, aren’t you?”
