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She heard the sound of a sob. “I’ve been arrested. I’m sorry. I thought I had more time. This isn’t—” His voice crackled. “Allison, listen to me. I’m going to figure this out. I love you so much and I would never hurt you.”
She heard a loud buzzing followed by the sensation of the world falling away. She had a feeling that if she’d been standing, she would have fainted.
“Arrested?” She could barely speak the word, let alone comprehend it. “You’re in jail?”
“Yes. I’m working on getting a lawyer. It’s going to take a bit.”
“But why? You didn’t—” She tried to make sense of what he was saying. “Did you commit a crime?”
“No. It’s a misunderstanding. Things got complicated and there was some confusion with a few accounts. I’ll get it straightened out. You have to believe me.”
She did. He was her husband and she loved him. He’d never been anything but honest with her, with their money, his business. “But you’re in jail and the banks have frozen our accounts.”
“I know. I’m sorry about that.”
Sorry? That was it? “Peter, I have to pay rent and buy food. We’re nearly out of diapers. How am I supposed to do that?” She touched her belly where Bethany had decided to practice her soccer kicks. “I’m pregnant. Are you telling me you’re in jail and I’m pregnant?”
Her voice rose with every word until she was nearly shrieking.
In the background all she heard was Peter saying he was sorry.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll have answers by then, I swear. I didn’t think this would happen so fast. I wasn’t ready. But I’ll make it up to you. I love you, Allison. You and Jackson and Bethany. You’re my world. I’ll make this right.”
And then he was gone. She stared at her phone, unable to process what was happening. None of this could be real. She had to—
The sound of Jackson’s sobs broke through to her. Her son stood in front of her crying and pointing at her. She touched her face and realized she was crying, too. She hadn’t known. Obviously her shrieking and tears had frightened him, which made two of them.
She lumbered to her feet, then picked up Jackson and held him tight.
“I’m sorry,” she said, walking back into the house. “I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s okay. We’re okay.”
A lie, but what else was there to say to her eighteen-month-old?
In the small kitchen, she set him on the counter, then lightly touched his nose.
“What’s that?”
Jackson stared at her, wide-eyed. “Dada.”
Her body tensed. “Your dad’s busy. He won’t be home for a while.”
Jackson shook his head, then pointed toward the front door. “Dada.” He drew in a breath for a full-throated howl. “Dada!”
She reached for him, but he shrank back.
“Dada!”
“He’s not here. He’s not coming home.” Not tonight and who knew how many nights after that.
The truth of that statement slammed into her. Peter wasn’t coming home because he was in jail. He’d been charged with some crime that was serious enough to cause their bank accounts to be frozen. He’d been arrested and she had no idea why. He’d talked about getting a lawyer. Could he do that from jail? What happened after that? The only thing she knew about people going to jail and to trial was from TV and movies. That sort of thing simply didn’t happen to anyone she knew.
The panic returned, along with fear and trouble breathing. No! she thought frantically. She couldn’t have a panic attack. She had to take care of Jackson. She was fine. She could breathe.
She made herself consciously inhale and exhale, but the sensation of the air going anywhere but her lungs only got stronger. She was alone with a toddler, she was pregnant, and she had no money or way to talk to her husband. She didn’t even know where he was. Okay, yes, SeaTac Federal Detention Center, but where was that? And while she wanted to believe this was as bad as it was going to get, she was afraid it would get worse.
What was she supposed to do? How could she protect herself and Jackson while helping Peter? Should she call a lawyer? Should—
Jackson began to cry again. As she gasped to suck in air, she wrapped her arms around him. He hung on to her, sobbing so hard his little body shook. She gave in to her own tears, crying just as loudly.
