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She dressed quickly, made her next appointment, then left her doctor’s office. She was going to swing by the grocery store before picking up Jackson. Yes, that would burn up precious day care credits, but it was so much easier to shop without him, especially when the store would be crowded. She would stock up on staples and replenish their fresh fruits and vegetables. She’d downloaded as many coupons as she could find and pored over the weekly ads. Pork tenderloin was on sale at a buy-one-get-one-free price. That would provide the two of them with at least ten protein servings, maybe more.
Forty minutes later she loaded her grocery bags into the back of her Subaru. There’d been a pop-up sale on the hot cereal Jackson liked, so she’d bought three boxes. She wasn’t too exhausted and if she ignored the threat of bed rest, she was kind of having a good day.
As she drove home, she wished Peter was with her so they could talk. She missed his arms around her, his gentle voice, the way he took care of her and Jackson. Her anger from the visit had long faded and now she was just left with her loneliness and worry.
She told herself not to dwell on the bad. She had to stay positive, if not for herself, then for the baby. Better for her to speculate on how much her paycheck would be. She’d put in a lot of extra hours and had the back pain to prove it. She was hoping it was at least two hundred more than usual. Maybe a little more. The taxes were always confusing and—
Her breath caught in her chest as her entire body went cold. Panic seized her and her hands started shaking. No! Just no!
“Don’t you dare,” she screamed out loud. “Don’t you dare!”
She checked her rearview mirror before pulling into a fast food parking lot. Nausea joined the fear, and she was trembling so hard, she could barely pull her phone out of her bag.
She unlocked the screen then swiped to the banking app. After opening it, she quickly navigated to her checking account.
“No,” she moaned, staring at the screen until her tears blurred everything.
There it was, as always. Her monthly paycheck, sitting right where it should, after being automatically deposited. It was nearly three hundred dollars more than she usually earned, in a bank account frozen by the government.
She’d worked her ass off for nothing, because she’d never once thought to stop the automatic deposits. She could see the money, but it was just out of reach—held in an account she couldn’t access. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right and she couldn’t do anything about it.
The shaking went away and the tears dried up. Even the nausea subsided. Allison felt herself drifting into a gray place of nothing. She was in her body, yet not. There was simply too much, she thought dully. Too much bad and no way out.
She tossed her phone into her bag, then checked for cars before backing out of the parking space. She drove home and parked in the driveway, then managed to carry in all the groceries. She made it all the way to the living room before the emotions crashed into her.
She dropped the bags and sank to the floor, covering her face with her hands and screaming as loudly as she could.
“Make it stop! Make it stop!”
She couldn’t do this anymore. There was no way. Just when she started to think she could get through this, something else happened. She could probably manage if Peter was here to help, but he wasn’t. Bad enough to miss him, worse to manage this on her own.
She cried until there were no tears left, then rocked back and forth, trapped in a hell she couldn’t escape. She was out of ideas, out of options, out of hope. Worse, she thought maybe she didn’t even care.
“Knock, knock. It’s me.”
The front door opened and Summer stepped inside. The teen’s wide smile instantly faded as she stared at Allison.
“Oh my God! What happened?” Her stepdaughter was at her side in an instant. “Allison, are you all right? Is it the baby?”
Allison stared at her, knowing there was nothing to say, no way to explain why she sat in the middle of the floor, surrounded by groceries. She was too tired to come up with a lie.
“They took my paycheck,” she said dully. “I worked all those extra hours for nothing. Swollen ankles, aching back—for nothing. I did it to have a little extra and they took it.”
Summer crouched next to her, rubbing her arm. “Who took it?”
“The bank. It was automatically deposited and the accounts are frozen, so it went in but I can’t get it out.” She tried to smile and was pretty sure she failed. “The doctor’s threatening bed rest if I don’t take care of myself. Isn’t that funny? When am I supposed to do that? Peter’s in jail. I don’t have anyone. I’m responsible for all of this and I don’t know what to do. When the lease is up, we’ll be homeless. Jackson and I will be living in my car.”
She stared at the wide-eyed teen. “I didn’t think my life would be easy, especially after I lost Levi, but I thought it would be okay. That I’d work hard and save money and have a little happiness. Then I met your dad and he was so great. He took care of me and loved me and I was happy. Now it’s all gone.”
Summer reached for Allison’s hand. “You’re scaring me.”
“I’m scaring myself.” Allison pressed her lips together. “Sorry. I know I should say something comforting, but I don’t have anything left.”
“Don’t say that. We’ll figure this out.”
Allison patted her shoulder. “You’re sweet and very young. I know you care, but this isn’t your problem. You should go, Summer. You don’t have to take this on.”
“I want to help.”
