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I want to tell her that I don't want to be the reason they're not speaking.
"I'm not giving you up," he whispers when a tear slips down my cheek. "If that's what you're planning on telling her, forget it, baby. I won't let you leave me because you think it'll make her happy."
"She's your daughter, Roman," I whisper. He always knows exactly what I'm thinking before I even verbalize it, so I don't even try to deny the truth. I'm so afraid the only way to fix things for him and Tahani is by walking away. I don't want to lose him. God, the thought alone makes me feel like I'm going to break. But I don't know what the right thing to do is in this situation.
"And you're the entire fucking reason I breathe, Mila," he growls, his voice harsh.
My gaze flies to his again.
"Don't you get it?" he asks, the pain in his eyes breaking my heart a little bit. "I can't lose you any more than I can lose Tahani, baby. You're…fuck. You're part of my goddamn soul." He grabs one of my hands and presses it against his chest, over his heart. "Every beat is for you. If you leave me…." Another wave of pain rolls through his eyes. "I've never needed much, but I need you here with me, sweetheart."
His words wreck me a little. I don't know what to do. If leaving means that Tahani forgives him…isn't that what I have to do?
My dad chose alcohol over me. I haven't spoken to him in over four years. I don't miss him, and I'm better off without him. It's different with Tahani and Roman. Roman adores her, and they've always been close. I don't want to be why she never speaks to him again.
What am I supposed to do?
"I don't want to give you up," I admit, swallowing past the lump in my throat. "But I don't know what else to do, Roman. I hate that she isn't talking to you because of me. It's not right."
"She isn't talking to me because of me," he says firmly, wiping another tear from my cheek.
"She isn't talking to me, either."
"Go see her when you're in Sacramento," he says, pulling me out of my chair and into his arms. He wraps them around me, holding me tightly. "Say whatever it is you need to say to her. Listen to whatever she has to say to you. But don't give up on me now, baby. I swear to you, things are going to get better. I just need you to give me a little time to sort this shit out."
"Okay," I whisper, praying like hell that he's right about things improving because I'm not sure how much more silence I can take. I miss Tahani, and I know Roman misses her too. I just want her to talk to us again.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Roman
"What the fuck are we watching?" I ask Mila. She's lying on top of me on the couch, my hand on her ass and her head on my bare chest. We're watching some bullshit on the History Channel. Well, she's watching it. I'm thinking about taking her upstairs to fuck her.
"The Curse of Oak Island," she says with a little laugh. "They're searching for treasure the Templars buried on an island in Nova Scotia centuries ago. They're going to find it this year." She sounds so certain. It's fucking cute.
"Baby, I doubt the Templars buried treasure in Canada," I say, laughing.
"Whatever," she mumbles. "They're going to find it."
"How long have they been looking?" I ask her, my gaze on the television as a group of men lowers a diver down into a pipe. The damn thing is so narrow the diver can barely move.
"A few years. Well, this group has been looking for a few years. People have been searching the island for a long time, though. They've found all kinds of really cool stuff."
"But no treasure."
"Yet," she says. "They haven't found the treasure yet."
I chuckle at her and squeeze her ass. She kisses my chest and then settles, her eyes locked on the television again. I just lay there and hold her, running my hands up and down her back.
The fact that she's afraid the only way to fix shit between me and Tahani is by her leaving fucking kills me. There's no way in hell I will ever let that happen. I know not hearing from Tahani is breaking her heart, but I'm working on it. I've been working on it for days. I can't tell Mila that yet, though. Not until I get confirmation.
Until then, if she needs to see Tahani or talk to her, I'm all for it.
Regardless of what is said, though, Mila isn't leaving me. I'll drag her back, kicking and screaming if I have to do it. She's mine. My entire fucking future rests in her little hands. I'll do whatever I have to do to keep her with me.
"Let me up, baby," I murmur to her when my phone starts ringing from the kitchen.
"I'm comfortable," she grumbles and then lets me slide out from underneath her, her eyes still riveted to the television and whatever the fuck they're digging through the mud looking for.
