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"I'm not," she says, her voice soft. "My life is better without him in it. I used to wish that wasn't true, but I don't anymore."
"Why not?" I can't imagine not being in Tahani's life. Being a dad…fuck, I never knew I wanted that until I found out I had a kid. The minute I met Tahani, everything changed. She's a piece of me. I wouldn't change being her father for anything. I can't imagine just walking away from her. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that Mila's father could just allow her to walk out of his life. How do you know someone like Mila and let her go? It makes no sense to me.
"The day I moved out, I asked him why he never wanted me after my mom died. He said that looking at me and wishing it had been me instead of her hurt." Her voice shakes a little, and I know that shit still hurts her, a whole hell of a lot worse than saying it hurt him. Even if she doesn't want to admit it, him saying that shit to her broke her heart.
I want to kill him for that. The urge to wrap my hands around his throat and choke the life out of him rises hot and fast, ripping through me like a tidal wave. I take deep breaths in and out, trying to keep her from seeing what her confession does to me. I've killed before because I had to, because that's what was required of me, but her father? I'd enjoy taking his miserable fucking life. He doesn't deserve to live in the same world with her.
"He isn't worth it," she whispers, and I know she's guessed exactly how I feel.
Somehow, she always fucking knows how I feel.
I don't believe in soulmates or destiny or any of that bullshit, but sometimes, with Mila, I can't help but wonder if maybe there's a little of something bigger than the two of us at play between us. We've circled in each other's orbit for so long that we share the same field of gravity. Crashing into one another was inevitable. Consuming one another was always meant to happen.
My arms tighten around her until I'm holding her as tightly as I can, breathing in her sweet scent. It's peaches and sunshine and everything that's right in my world.
"Your father was a fucking idiot," I tell her eventually, sweeping her hair away from her face so I can see her eyes. So she can see mine and know that I mean every word I'm about to say to her. "He had something precious when he had you, and he was too fucking blind to cherish you when he had the chance. I cherish you, though, baby. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm fucking grateful you gave me a chance anyway. You're extraordinary. Don't ever question your worth, not because of him. Not because of anyone."
"Okay," she says sweetly, her expression soft. Any lingering sadness over her father is gone, washed away by the sincerity still burning in my throat.
"Loving you is terrifying," I mutter when she kisses my cheek. "I'm so fucking afraid I'm going to mess it up and lose you. I've never wanted to feel this way about anyone, but now that I have?" I shake my head, at a loss for words. "I'd fucking kill to keep it, Mila. To keep you."
"I feel the same way. I've never felt like this before, Roman. Sometimes, it's too much. When you're inside me, when you're fucking me, I feel like loving you is going to rip me apart. I'm going to come for you one day, and I'm just going to float away." She laughs softly. "It's terrifying and addicting at the same damn time."
"I won't let you float away," I promise, smiling. She's so fucking cute. Christ, she kills me. I think I love hearing her talk about fucking me in that sweet voice almost as much as I love hearing her cry out my name. She has the mouth of a sailor sometimes, and I can't get enough of it.
"I don't think I'd mind floating away."
"Yeah?"
"I love the way you fuck me, Roman. You're like a force of nature." She laughs again, wriggling her sexy little ass in my lap.
"Mila," I warn her, stilling her with my hands on her hips. A warning growl rumbles in my throat.
"Oh, simmer down," she grumbles, her tone laced with amusement. She's teasing me again, and she's doing it intentionally. "I already know you aren't going to fuck me. I'm injured. Blah, blah, blah." She waves her hand in the air dismissively. "I know the rules, Mr. Gregory."
Fuck. Why does her calling me that turn me on so goddamn much? It's honestly a little fucked up how hot I find it when she calls me Mr. Gregory. I don't even know why it makes me hard, but it does.
I think she knows it, too. She grinds her ass against my erection, moaning loudly.
"Mila," I warn again.
She ignores me because of-fucking-course she does. One hand slides up my chest. The other curls around my bicep. She grinds against me again, wriggling until the bulge in my jeans bumps against her clit with every move she makes.
I grit my teeth and clench my hands around her hips, fighting for the willpower to tell her no again.
"I'll make it good for you, Mr. Gregory," she teases me, breathing heavily. "I promise I will."
"Fuck," I growl, bucking my hips. I tip her head back and bite her lip hard, punishing her for fucking with me. She's always pushing me, trying to make me lose control. "You're a pain in the ass, Mila. I swear to fucking Christ…"
"You love it," she moans when I pull her shirt up, exposing her tits.
She's right. I do love it.
I stare down at the phone in my hand, using one finger to flick back and forth between the home screen and the dial pad, trying to convince myself to hit the button to call Brady. I've been putting it off for days, for a lot of reasons I'm still trying to work through. Like Mila. Now that she's mine, I get why Brady brought Carla and Andres into our way of life. But now that she's mine, I'm even more pissed that he put them in harm's way. I can't imagine ever fucking slipping up when it could cost me my daughter or the woman who's quickly becoming a vital part of my world.
"Just call him already," Mila says, running one hand through my hair.
I glance over my shoulder to find her sitting up in the bed behind me. She's completely naked, her hair as wild as ever. Her skin glows in the dim light emanating from the lamp. I don't think I'll ever get used to the warm feeling that spreads out from my chest when I see her looking so soft and sweet.
