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"I can sleep in my room."
"This is your room," I growl in her ear. She's been in my bed with me since the first time I fucked her. My arms tighten around her like she might jump out of them and run if I don't hold her tightly enough. Her words piss me off.
I know I fucked up. I hurt her. But for a few minutes today, I thought I’d lost her forever. I saw her at the bottom of the stairs and my goddamn heart stopped beating. The world stopped spinning because she wasn’t in it. So I need her to let me fix what I broke. It’s the only way I’ll ever forget the way that felt. But she's not giving an inch.
"Stop fighting me, Mila."
She doesn't say anything as I carry her into the bedroom. Her gaze sweeps across the bed, fixating on the ties still looped around the bedposts and the sheets twisted all over the place.
Mine lands on her bags, which are partially packed and sitting against the far wall. As soon as I see them, I see red.
I place her on the bed, being careful not to jostle her too much, and then I cage her in with my arms. She can't go anywhere unless I let her, and there's no way in hell I'm going to let her move until I say what I have to say.
Her eyes meet mine. She looks tired and sad, but I still see it lurking there…that innate need to challenge me. I swear to God, she was put on this earth just to fuck with me.
"You were going to leave me? What the fuck?" I growl, glaring down at her.
"I…" She opens her mouth and then closes it, swallowing hard. More sadness creeps into her expression. She blinks like she's trying to keep from crying. "You're the one leaving, Roman," she says quietly. "You're going back to Los Angeles."
"Not yet," I remind her.
She doesn't say anything.
"So, what was your plan?" I ask, still pissed. It's hard not to be when her bags are by the fucking door, taunting me. I’m not losing her again. Fuck that. "You were just going to run away before I got back?"
"No. I was going to wait for you." Her gaze shifts across my face. "I understand why you don't want me in Los Angeles with you," she whispers. "I don't blame you for it, and I'm not mad at you."
"Then why the fuck were you leaving me?" I growl, leaning even further into her. I think she's had a little bit too much experience walking away from the people in her life who hurt her. That fact fucking kills me, but I refuse to be like her father or her ex and let her go without a fight. Not happening.
I will never stop fighting for her.
When she licks her lips, her eyes dropping to my mouth, I want to jerk her into my arms and kiss her until she gives up and promises not to leave me, but I can't do that. There's no way in hell I'm going to hurt her any more than I already have.
"I don't know," she lies, tearing her gaze from my face when tears well in her eyes again. She's trying to shut me out and rebuild the walls I've spent days tearing down. She's been trying all day, but she still wants this. She still wants me. I fucking know she does.
"Can we talk about this later?" she asks. "My head hurts."
I want to tell her no and make her talk to me now, but her voice is small. She looks fragile, and that throws me off. I've seen her look a million different kinds of beautiful. I've seen her sad, and pissed off, and so turned on she can't think straight. I've even seen her hurt and afraid. But I've never seen her look like she's on the verge of breaking. She looks…defeated. I've made her look like that twice today, and that scares me.
Mila's one of the strongest people I know. She's a fucking warrior. But she's tired, she's in pain, and I'm suddenly not so sure she's ready to hear what I have to say to her. And I don't mean that she isn't ready to listen. I mean, I need her to really hear me and understand. I need her to want to fight for this thing between us, too. And I don't know if she's willing to do that right now.
Whatever she needs to work through first, I think I need to let her.
"Fine," I say, putting my mouth to her ear, "but you aren't fucking leaving me, Mila. Not now and not ever, baby. You're mine." I nip her lobe gently to punctuate my words and then press a soft kiss to her forehead before walking away, praying like hell the entire time that she lets me in again because I'm not letting her go.
No way in hell is that happening.
Chapter Fifteen
Mila
I lay in Roman's bed for a long time, watching shadows shift and dance across the ceiling as late afternoon creeps toward early evening. My head pounds and my entire body aches and throbs. Every time I breathe, it feels like I'm being stabbed in the lung. It fucking hurts. But I don't cry any more.
I don't sleep, either.
His scent is all over the bed. I feel like I'm surrounded by him. His words echo in my mind over and over. I'm not sure what he meant when he said I'm not ever leaving him, but I do know he meant every word.
I'm not sure why I was going to leave in the first place. Actually, that's not true. I know exactly why. I'm in love with him. I don't know when I fell or how, but I fell like a freaking star plummeting to earth.
