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"Don't break me," I plead when I come back to myself.
He rests his head against my stomach, his lips against my skin. He's holding me tightly to him, murmuring soothing noises at me.
I can't fight him anymore. I don't want to fight him anymore. But I'm terrified he's going to break me in ways Damien couldn't. He has the power to do it. I think he's always had that power, and maybe that's why I was really with Damien. Because I knew I'd give every little piece of myself to Roman, given half a chance. For his sake. For my sake. For Tahani's sake…I couldn't let that happen.
It's too late to take it back now, though. He has me.
He presses a soft kiss to my stomach and then hauls me up into his arms. His lips brush tenderly across my forehead. I wrap my arms around him, clinging.
"Promise," he breathes against my skin.
He carries me back to the condo, neither of us speaking as I curl up in his arms. His steps are heavy as he climbs the stairs onto the back deck. Instead of taking me inside, he sinks down into a chaise with me, holding me tightly. I relax against him, tucking my head under his chin.
We both stare out into the ocean, watching as the waves crash against the shore. His chest rises and falls with each breath he takes, lulling me to the edge of something massive. Something terrifying.
"I want this," he murmurs, the words causing pieces of my hair to waft around my face. His voice is quiet and thoughtful. Sincerity rings in his tone. "I don't know what it is, but I want it, Mila." He lifts me up, adjusting me until I'm facing him. He tilts his face down until his gaze meets mine. "I'm not him, baby. I'm not going to break you."
"I…" I open my mouth and then close it again, studying him this time. Trying to figure him out. I know he isn't Damien. That's what scares me. But I think not surrendering to this thing with him scares me even more.
When I'm old and gray, I don't want to look back and regret anything. I don't want to have to wonder what could have been. I want to know that I lived and that I tried. I want to know that I took big risks, even when they scared me. And I want to know him. Even if it can't last. Even if it ends in disaster. I think I have to know. I have to stop trying to convince myself that this is just sex and let whatever is really happening between us take shape.
"He didn't break me," I whisper then, feeling the truth of those words resonate in my soul. Damien didn't break me. He hurt me, but I was never his to break. I think I was Roman's even when I wasn't his. I think I have been since the day I met him. Tears burn in my throat and my eyes, blurring my vision.
Roman wipes them away, his big hands gentle.
"What if Tahani finds out?" I ask him when he rests his forehead against mine, his breathing ragged. "What if she never forgives us?"
He's quiet for a moment, thinking, assessing. "I won't let you lose your best friend, Mila. I won't let you be hurt. We don't have to have all the answers today. I know what I want. What do you want, baby? Are you all in?"
I know if I tell him right here and now that this is just sex and nothing else, he'll accept it. He won't like it, but he'll respect my wishes. He'll back off and give me exactly what I want. The choice is mine, and he's giving it to me, letting me decide if we pull back and settle for fucking, or if we move forward and explore whatever is really going on between us.
As I stare into his hazel eyes and see the gentleness and desire piercing through me, I know there was never a choice in the first place. With him, there never was.
I lean forward, pressing my lips to his.
"Yes," I breathe into his mouth, the only word that really matters. "Yes, I'm all in."
Chapter Twelve
Roman
The loud ringing of my phone jolts me awake. I throw my arm out, grasping for the noise to silence it before it wakes Mila. Her body is warm and soft against mine, and all I want is to silence the intrusion, roll her over, and slide inside her again.
When I finally get my hand on the phone and bring it toward my face, I curse. It's my daughter…not a call I can ignore.
"Hi, Daddy," Tahani says as soon as my cell is to my ear. "Did I wake you up?"
I roll over and glance at the clock to find that it's already after nine in the morning. I'm usually up with the sun, but my sleep schedule has been a little fucked up lately.
I'm not complaining. There's nothing better than spending half the night buried inside Mila.
She shifts beside me, searching me out. With my red sheets tangled around her, she looks like an angel in her sleep. Her blonde hair is a riotous mess, and her golden skin is soft and smooth. The covers have slipped, leaving one heavy breast and tight, dusky pink nipple exposed. My marks are all over her curvy body.
My heart rolls in my chest at the sight of them, my cock stirring.
"Daddy?"
"Yeah, I'm here." I close my eyes and shake my head hard, trying to clear it of the temptress still sleeping beside me. It's getting harder and harder to do. Ever since she told me she was all in on the beach a few days ago, I've become even more obsessed with her than I was to begin with.
