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"Stay," I blurt out before I can stop myself. It's a bad idea. No, it's a fucking terrible idea. Her staying here will lead nowhere good for either of us. She's Tahani's best friend. She's half my age, barely even twenty-two. There may be people looking for me. She just got out of a relationship.
I want her way too fucking much.
But fuck if any of that matters. Not when she's looking at me with her lips slightly parted. Not when the sound of my name still echoes between us. Not when I still remember how she melted into me when I had her in my arms. Not when my dick hasn’t gotten hard for anyone but her in four years.
"What?" Her eyes widen.
"I want you to stay," I tell her, boldly holding her gaze.
"I–" She searches my face, her bottom lip between her teeth again. I don't know what she's looking for, but whatever it is, she finds it. She stands up straighter, and her shoulders go back again. "Okay," she whispers, a sweet smile twisting at her lips.
That smile sends a bolt through me, twisting deep. Christ, she's so sweet. So innocent.
She's your daughter's best friend.
I am so fucked.
Chapter Three
Roman
"Any news?" I ask Finn, staring out the kitchen window at the beach. Two seagulls swoop low over the sand, pecking at what I assume is a hermit crab. Waves crash against the shoreline behind them, spraying upward where the water collides with a group of rocks. It's so early that the sun hovers just over the horizon, turning the water a kaleidoscope of orange, green, yellow, and blue. The sky is cloud-free, promising more of the perfect weather that drew me to Santa Cruz in the first place.
I spend most of my time in LA rubbing elbows with four million other people. Doing what I do, dealing with the people I deal with…I crave solitude. I don't want to deal with people when I get time away. I want peace and quiet. Santa Cruz offers that. I can spend days at a time in the condo or on the beach and never see another person. Never speak to another person unless I choose to do so. When I'm here, I can let my guard down and relax in a way I can't in Los Angeles.
At least I could until I convinced Mila to stay.
She's been like a ghost since I left her standing in the kitchen two nights ago. It took everything I had not to kiss her. But after seeing that sweet smile, I knew I couldn't fucking go there with her.
I didn't tell her that, though. I just walked out.
I've seen her twice since. Once from a distance as I jogged down the beach yesterday morning and once more as she slipped into the guest room last night. But just knowing she's here has me on edge. Actually, that’s a lie. It's making me fucking crazy.
I don't know if she's avoiding me, but it certainly feels like it.
That's making me crazy too.
For the first time since I bought the condo, being here has me more on edge than LA ever did.
"If they're looking for you, they're doing so quietly," Finn says, recalling my attention. "I don't think they know you were the one who took out their boy."
Well, thank fuck for that.
"I want you to stay out of sight for a while anyway," Finn continues in that no-bullshit tone, dashing the little sliver of hope I had that he'd offer me an out. "At least until we're able to figure out what the fuck they're up to. I doubt we'll manage to stop whatever they're doing now that the guns are already in the wind, but we're going to try."
"How long?"
He hesitates. "I don't know. Give me a few weeks. Hopefully, we'll know enough by then to make a move."
"Son of a bitch," I mutter, defeat bowing my head. Finn doesn't take unnecessary risks, not when people like Guerrero are involved, and I can't fault him for that. But I need something to do, something to focus on. I need to get the fuck out of here, not wait around for a few weeks. I told Mila she could stay, and I'm not going to take that back now, but goddamn. I'm not going to survive weeks of living under the same roof with her.
"I'm going to fucking strangle Brady," I growl.
"Cool it with that shit," Finn warns me as soon as the words are out of my mouth. "He's fucked up enough over the whole situation without you giving him shit on top of it. You need to call him, man."
"Not happening." I don't give a shit if he is messed up. I'm stuck here because of him, slowly going out of my damn mind over a girl who's avoiding me like I'm the big bad wolf. Just thinking about her has me hard and aching for release. I've jerked off so much to the memory of her saying my name that my dick is raw, and it still isn't enough. No way am I going to survive weeks of this shit.
I shouldn't have told her she could stay. And I damn sure shouldn't have told Tahani that I was fine with Mila being here when she called yesterday. Clearly, I'm not fine with it.
