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Was that what I’d felt and not her heartbeat?
I guess I’d never know.
Her heartrate decelerated suddenly, and the paramedic—he might’ve called himself Eric—holding the wound packing to Ellodie’s belly cursed. “Get some gloves on.”
I blinked as the box was shoved into my face.
Then I did as I was told, slipping them on.
“You’re going to hold pressure here,” he said as he pointed with his chin to Ellodie’s belly. “The tape isn’t holding it well enough with all the blood and debris. She needs a bandage around her, but I don’t want to move her.”
In case anything else was wrong.
Fuck.
And there was a very real possibility that something else was really wrong.
The gloves slipped on, and then I shifted spots with the paramedic, holding the wound packing down with more force than I thought was necessary.
But since I wasn’t the medical professional here, I did what I was told.
“I’m gonna get her some more fluids,” he said.
“Eric, do you need me to pull over?” the medic in the front asked.
“No,” the paramedic, Eric, in the back disagreed. “She needs a hospital right now.”
Or she’s not going to make it.
I closed my eyes and felt the tears starting to form.
I was so lost in thought that at first, I didn’t feel the movement.
But then, an obvious nudge to my hand, had me opening my eyes and glancing down.
The baby.
I’d felt the baby.
My God.
The only reason I could feel the baby was because there was only a small amount of gauze separating me from Ellodie’s actual uterus.
I was sick to my stomach.
And damned if the tears didn’t win.
Would either of them survive until tomorrow?
I had this dawning sense of horror that they wouldn’t.
In the hospital, hours later, with her lying in a bed looking so utterly broken, I couldn’t stop the tears that had dried up the moment we got to the hospital from starting again.
A deep, almost physical ache had taken root in my chest upon sight of her, and it felt like it split wider and wider by the second.
I moved toward the bed, tears threatening to spill over, and stopped within arm’s reach of her hand.
Her hand that was broken.
