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“Nope,” she said, her eyes holding a belligerent fire. “I don’t understand, Murtagh. In the last month, I have discovered dragons, djinns, my psychotic past, talking cats, shadow men, witches, demons, and supposedly there’s other stuff out there, like Lycans? And these talking diamonds which glow are supposed to be the hardest thing to swallow? Well, think again, mister! It was definitely being djinn that was the hardest thing to swallow. This ain’t topping that! This is my normal Tuesday!”
We both sighed and were almost startled by Miles, who stepped out from where he was making himself a sandwich. “This sounds suicidal. There’s a better way. I heard the witch say that Seraphus could be killed with poison. Why wouldn’t we try to do that first?”
I looked up at the ceiling. Firstly, because the only reason my familiar knew that information was because he was eavesdropping in on our conversations. But mostly, because of his naivety. “Miles, don’t you think someone’s tried that by now?” I asked him wearily.
Miles snorted. “Back in Daconia. There are way better ways to kill him here and now. Do you know how easy poisoning someone is? It doesn’t quite take the Unibomber. It takes poison and a fire system.”
We lifted our heads. I looked at Murtagh and saw him looking back at me, raising a dark eyebrow. Then we turned to Miles.
“Continue,” I implored him.
Zazie listened to the plan and pouted. “Now that’s stupid. The Constantine plan minus acid?” she yelled, waving her hands in the air. She spun on her hand and gestured sharply at Miles, who was standing there and looking annoyed. “What? You’re listening to this weirdo?”
“I’m not a weirdo, I’ve seen a lot of poisoning in the trenches. I know how effective it is,” Miles said, his face set in firm resolve.
She rolled her eyes theatrically. “Stupid,” she decreed, raising up to her feet and beginning to take the diamonds and leave. “They just don’t like the idea because it’s ours,” she said, looking down at the rocks in her hands. “Well, fuck them, huh? Fuck them.”
We got up on our feet to follow her into the back bedroom.
“Zazie, no. We’re doing Miles’ plan because it doesn’t put us at risk. It gives us distance. There’s no reason not to try it,” Murtaugh affirmed. “Whereas your plan seems extremely likely to lead to your death, and that’s not something that we’re willing to risk!”
“Well, we gotta shake it up, anyway. We’re in a checkmate. They’re cornering my brother, they have our allies, and we can’t fart around forever. We have to do something.”
“Of course he’s got us checkmated, he’s been moving the pawns on the board for a thousand years!” I cried. “But we have gems that could get us back home.”
“Which isn’t gonna happen without my brother. Period,” she looked at me, eyes glinting with hostility.
This sunk in because she was serious. “Then we’re trying Miles’ plan,” I decreed.
She jutted her chin out stubbornly. “Stupid.”
“Just because it doesn’t involve you, doesn’t make it stupid,” I found myself growling. She was being insolent on purpose.
She put her diamonds gently down on the bed like they were children or very delicate pets. “I can’t stop you from doing whatever plan you have, Caspian. You’re bigger, you’re stronger, you’re older, you’re faster. I get it. You’re a dragon. But I’m telling you now, you’re wasting your time.”
I straightened and leaned over her.
Why couldn’t I have gotten a female that was more submissive? More doting. There were four billion females on this planet, but the one I seemed to be set on was the one before me. The stubborn one that had a death wish, apparently. “Good. Because I can tell you this—you’re only getting close to Seraphus over our dead bodies.”
She gave me a wearied glance. “Caspian, that’s exactly what will probably happen.”
“No,” I promised her, stepping up and slowly drawing her body against mine. “Nothing is going to happen to you. We’re going to protect you.”
“This isn’t a dark alley or a busy street. This is a chess board, Caspian. And we’re losing too many pieces.”
“There’s only one piece that’s important to keep in chess,” I assured her softly. “And darling—we’re not going to lose it.”
CHAPTER 27
Zazie
“I don’t even understand their plan,” one of my diamonds said. I called this one Lully, because it sounded more female. A sing-song, ethereal, bell-like voice.
Rocky, the other one, had a rougher feel and sound, and sounded more masculine.
By sight, my diamonds looked exactly the same in every way. But the sound of them, especially together, was like a symphony.
And the song they were now singing was called “Your Dragons Are So Dumb!”
