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She lowered herself beside him, raising the short length of her dress to an almost indecent length.
With her hand in his, he traced the pads of his fingers along the inside of her palm. “Being on Pelican Bay has brought back a lot of memories,” he began.
“Understandably.”
“Not all good memories.”
She nudged his shoulder. “I remember many good memories.”
A smile pulled at the corners of his lips. “I remember them, too. Mostly.” He turned to face her. “I spent our entire relationship high on something.”
“I did my fair share, too.”
“You didn’t crave it the way I did. It became a necessity to survive each day. Often needing it more than food…more than air.”
“There was a lot going on in your life with your family.”
He shook his head. “Jace went through the same shit. He didn’t screw up his life like I did.”
She moved closer and covered both his hands with hers. “You didn’t screw up your life.”
He snorted. “I came pretty damn close.”
“Close doesn’t matter. You’re good now, right?”
He met her gaze. “I’ve been in recovery for eight years, nine months, and five days.”
“You got the help you needed. That’s what matters.”
He mostly agreed with her, but sometimes it didn’t seem to matter at all. Like now. Facing his past and his lack of responsibility was an important part of dealing with the addiction and stopping himself from getting bogged down in self-doubt and negative thoughts.
“I’m sorry, Abby.”
She stiffened, getting his meaning without him needing to speak the words. But therapy had taught him saying the words was part of owning up to your mistakes and healing.
“I’m sorry about the baby…about our baby.”
Abby snatched her hands away and played with the hem of her dress. “Let’s not do this.”
“Not talk about it? Why not?”
“Because I’ve put it behind me.”
“Really? Because I sure as hell haven’t.”
He’d unlocked the lid to Pandora’s box, and it was time to open it all the way.
“You shocked the hell out of me when you called to tell me you were pregnant.”
“We weren’t always careful.”
“No, we weren’t. And that’s on me.”
“It’s on both of us.”
He remembered the spontaneity of sex with Abby. She’d been adventurous, willing to try every crazy place and position he suggested. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other, and condoms cost money he didn’t always have.
“After the initial shock, I was happy. Freaked out because we lived a thousand plus miles away from each other, but happy because I loved you and the idea of starting a family with you.”
