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“I’ll lose my job, both my current one and the one in New York. Then Michael will blackball me from the industry and probably ensure that I never work cyber security again.”
That doesn’t sound like the man that ate a side salad with fat free dressing yesterday. “He has that much power? Is he mafia?”
Eric tweaks my nose. “You are the cutest thing.”
My heart pounds as I realize he didn’t answer the question. “Is that a yes?”
“No, your father is not mafia.” He doesn’t bother hiding the amusement from his tone.
And you want to keep your job and my father’s favor more than you want me? It’s the question I want to ask, but I’m afraid I already know the answer. He wouldn’t be running to New York if he thought he had a fighting chance.
“What if I followed you to New York? I graduate next spring. We could build a life away from him.” I like where I live but I could start over for Eric.
“OK, let’s go with that little fantasy for a minute.” He sighs. “Time passes and I get down on one knee. Who gives you away at the wedding? Even better, I breed you the way I want to and put a baby in your womb. Do you want your kid growing up never knowing their grandfather?”
I think about his words, the future he’s painting. I like the idea of Eric proposing and the thought of carrying his babies. “You’re saying I’d have to choose between you two.”
“Atlas, I was a foster kid. I’ve always been alone in the world. I don’t have a family to give you other than a half-sister I just met and barely know. There will be no grandparents or aunts or uncles. No one to welcome you into the Holt name.”
If he asked me to choose, I’d pick him. As soon as I think it, I feel guilty. I promised my mom that I would do everything I could to make my dad happy. Now, I wish I’d never said those words to her.
He brushes the hair from my face. “I’m not asking you for anything more than what we just shared, and I’m telling you to stay by your father’s side.”
“And if I say no?” In my mind, I see the dark circles under my mom’s eyes, feel her bald head, and the way she got too weak to do more than whisper that she loved me. How could I let her down?
“I spent my life searching for what you already have. Don’t throw that away just because you’re in the afterglow of really good sex.”
“That’s not what this is.” Why can’t he see that my feelings run so much deeper? Why won’t he acknowledge that much at least?
He grins. “It wasn’t really good sex? Then I didn’t try hard enough.” He reaches for me, ghosting his fingers along my side where I’m ticklish.
I giggle and roll out of the bed, landing on my feet. “Fine. It was great sex.”
He groans. “You better cover that ass right now or you’re gonna end up wearing my handprint for the rest of the night.”
“You wouldn’t.”
He starts from the bed.
I squeal and grab for my clothes, quickly changing into my bra and panties. “See? All covered. No need for a spanking.”
“Yet.” He puts on his boxers and slacks.
I slip into my pink dress. I don’t know if it would be weird to thank him for a really fun first time.
“You should go downstairs first,” Eric says. “People will talk if we appear together.”
I nod, fighting a wave of disappointment that it’s over. Without a word, I gather my things and head to the door.
I’ve just stepped out into the hall when Eric calls my name. He leaves the room, unconcerned that he’s still shirtless. He gestures for me to turn around. He quickly zips my dress before he spins me to face him.
“This was the best night of my life,” he murmurs then kisses me on the forehead.
I smile, feeling suddenly shy around him. “I had fun, too.” I lean up and press one last, lingering kiss to his lips. “Can we meet one more time before you go to New York?”
He hesitates but nods. “Yeah, I won’t leave without saying goodbye.”
The words make me feel warm even as my heart aches. There are so many things I want to say to Eric and so much I want him to say to me. But maybe if I give it a few days, I can figure out how to convince him to fight for this. For us.
