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My gaze strayed to Massimo. He watched us from across the bar, ignoring the men who were trying to engage him in conversation.
Freedom from the cartels meant leaving him behind.
Carmen noted the direction of my gaze. “I understand that desire can be complicated,” she said carefully. “I thought you cared for him, which is why I didn’t help you before. But lust isn’t enough. You must realize that, or you wouldn’t have tried to run away from him.”
I shook my head. “It’s not like that. I do care for Massimo. I tried to leave because he did something I didn’t understand, and he didn’t stop to explain himself. We talked about it after, and he promised he’ll do better.”
She regarded him with incisive eyes, considering him. “In our world, it’s common for men to think they don’t have to explain their actions. Massimo answers to no one except his boss back in Naples. It’s not hard for me to believe he fucked up like that.”
“You told me before that you understood my situation with Massimo,” I said carefully. “Was it the same for you? With Stefano?”
Her perfect black brows rose, and the regal, cold queen replaced the concerned woman. “No one has ever dared to ask me about that.”
My confidence wavered at the ice in her voice, but I squared my shoulders and gathered my courage. “I need advice. I don’t want to offend you.”
She sighed and relaxed back into her chair. “Yes, I was Stefano’s captive, if that’s what you’re asking.” She said it so casually, as though it were commonplace. “He was my most hated enemy, my rival. Then one day, he captured me and tried to take everything I’d worked so hard to attain.”
I swallowed hard. “What happened?”
She smiled. “He fell in love with me. We formed an alliance, and now we’re more powerful together than we ever were apart.”
I considered my next words carefully. “But how did you know you were making the right choice? Why did you choose to stay with him?”
“Ah.” She nodded at me, understanding. “You’re thinking about going to Italy with Massimo.”
Now that she’d said it out loud, it seemed insane. Impossible.
“I should go back to America,” I said, as though I could reason with myself.
She leaned toward me, speaking earnestly. “I love Stefano because he would burn down the world for me if I asked him to. His love is a fierce and terrible thing. But so is mine.” She searched my face. “You’re not fierce; you’re soft and kind. Gentle. Can you withstand the kind of love a man like Massimo would offer?”
“Who said anything about love?” I asked quickly, dismissing the notion. It was far too soon to call whatever we shared love.
After George’s betrayal, I wasn’t sure if I even knew what love looked like. I couldn’t trust myself to recognize it.
Carmen gave me a half-smile, almost pitying. “That man is infatuated with you. If you leave him, he will chase you. I can help you hide so that he will never find you.”
“I don’t want to hide from Massimo,” I countered. “I want to be with him, but I don’t want the danger and violence that comes with the mafia.”
She shook her head sadly. “Like I said, he’s not a gentle man. But the world is a dangerous, violent place, Evelyn. How much of it you see in your lifetime can vary, but it’s not as black and white as you might like to think. You’re new to this life, but I was born in it. So was Massimo. We’ve survived by attaining power and keeping it ruthlessly. Massimo will do what’s necessary to protect you because he cherishes you. That might not always align with your sense of morality. The question is: can you accept his fierce brand of love? Because if you can’t, walk away now. I’ll help you disappear.”
I looked over at my dark protector, my beautiful savior. His silver eyes met mine, keen enough to pierce my soul even from across the room.
“No,” I said, clear and resolute. “I don’t want to walk away.”
I wasn’t sure what the future held, but I was done resisting my connection to Massimo. For days, I’d tried to forget about the cartel and the mafia, losing myself in his strong arms whenever I could. I’d wanted to be with him, so I’d done my best to lock out my concerns about organized crime when I was intimate with him.
But there was no going back now. Carmen wouldn’t offer assistance again, and without her help, there was nowhere on this earth I could hide from him.
I didn’t want to hide.
My life in Albuquerque was over. I could leave my painful past there.
Massimo had promised to take me anywhere I wanted to go once we reached Italy. I’d always dreamed of visiting the Amalfi Coast with my camera. He would make that dream a reality. He believed in my art. He valued and respected me.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” Carmen said sincerely. “I’ll let you get back to your beloved now.”
Just as I opened my mouth to correct her, a deafening explosion of sound erupted from the empty club below. Glass shattered, and metal squealed as it crumpled against a solid barrier. The mezzanine level shook.
