“Oh, we will.” The way he says it makes me blush. The innuendo. Fuck. Me.
But then again, what I just did with Coop was just as bad. Or was it? Bad isn’t the right word.
“We’re using that gift card you gave us, so thank you in advance,” Max says, and I feel my cheeks darken even more. I have to talk to Coop about setting up some nice outing for the two of them. They deserve it. Maybe I’ll even plan something for Magnus. A step in the right direction of making amends.
I say goodbye to my brother and set my phone down, sinking onto the bed and sighing. It’s only now that I’ve hung up that I realize I’m not wearing any clothes, so I pull on a pair of sweatpants and flop back down on my bed.
I need to go out and watch that movie with Coop. He has the patience of a toddler. If I’m late, he’ll throw a fit, but for some reason, my hand picks up my phone again and I call Magnus. I don’t know why. We were never that close, my narrow-mindedness shutting him out for years.
But I just need someone to tell me it’s okay, that these feelings bubbling up inside are normal.
As soon as he picks up, I hear screaming in the background. Children squealing.
“Hello?” Magnus says, almost breathless.
Shit, I’ve gone and disturbed another family’s night.
“Hey, it’s Matt.”
Another high-pitched squeal and then the sound of a door slamming. The sounds are muffled now.
“Hey, big bro.” Something crashes in the distance, and I wince. “Sorry, we’re playing a very intense game of hide and seek,” Magnus whispers. “If Sem finds me, I get a very, very bad punishment.”
My eyebrows meet. “Are you okay? Do I need to come get you?”
He huffs a laugh. “Good god no. I want this punishment, Matt. Very much. But—” Something rattles in the background and he seems almost out of breath. “But I am going to make him work for it. I just slid under the bed. He’ll never find me.”
My mouth twitches into a smile.
“Sounds fun.”
“It is. And the kids are the worst at this game. We have to pretend we don’t see them. I found Lucy with just her head under a pillow and the rest of her body lying on the couch.”
I let out a surprised laugh at the visual. “God, were we like that growing up?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think our parents ever played hide and seek with us.”
His voice drops down to a whisper, “Anyways. You okay? Sorry. I didn’t mean to make this all about me.”
My throat suddenly grows a lump, and my eyes sting. He should make this all about him after the shit I pulled growing up and even worse as adults.
“It’s fine.”
“Thank you. So, what’s up?”
“I just…I just need someone to tell me it’s okay.”
I hear him shuffling around, his voice still a whisper when he asks, “What’s okay?”
I swallow and stare at the ceiling. What do I fucking say? I don’t know what to say.
“That I want…what I want.”
“And what’s that?” Magnus asks softly.
“Another man.”
He inhales sharply and then it’s silent on the other end of the line. “That’s perfectly fine, Matt. I know you don’t believe it because of how we were raised, but I promise you it is. Is it Cooper?”