Coop’s mouth falls open as he looks at the soggy mess on the floor. “Matthew…”
I don’t let him finish, don’t want to hear any lies that come out of his mouth. I’ve already been degraded long enough. I need to move on. I stomp to our bedroom and grab a bag, looking at the closet of his that is now filled with my things. I moved them over slowly and now they fill his space. It’s heart-wrenching to think that I need to pull each piece of clothing out, removing myself slowly from his life.
I should have never moved in with him. I should have known better. Now I know why he didn’t say I love you. I was disposable. He was ready for this to end.
“I’ll be gone in a few minutes,” I choke out, feeling him behind me as I stuff my clothes into my bag haphazardly. I don’t even know what I’m packing, and I know I’m forgetting things.
But I need to leave. Need to flee so I can lick my wounds and move on.
Oh god, how am I ever going to move on from this? He upended my life, turned me upside down. I was happy, tasted it, basked in it.
How am I ever going to find this again?
“You stop it right now,” Coop says, suddenly by my side and grabbing on to my clothes and throwing them onto the bed, thwarting my efforts. “If you’d just listen to me…”
“I have been listening!” I shout, my anger bubbling over, my lips trembling from the force of it. “I have been listening and I’ve heard nothing. You don’t love me. You don’t want me. It’s clear as fucking day, and I chose to ignore it!”
Coop freezes, his face paling. “No, I—fuck, Matthew. Oh god, I messed it all up! This…this was supposed to be a grand gesture!”
I don’t listen anymore. I’m done. I know when it’s done.
I grab the clothes and shove them in the bag, not even bothering to zip it as I stride from the room, Coop hot on my heels.
“Matthew, you are not fucking leaving until I’ve said my piece!”
“You said it loud and clear already,” I reply and reach for the door to open it, but he’s in front of me, knocking me back with a shove to my chest.
“I don’t want to divorce you.”
“That’s not what those papers said.”
“Well, you’ve got it all wrong. First off, that asshole lawyer was supposed to deliver them to me! Not you. And secondly, I wanted to give you the option to divorce me so we could do this right.”
I’m just frozen, blinking at him, trying to process it all. Coop huffs angrily and then grabs on to my arm, dragging me back to the bedroom. My clothes slip from the duffle bag and trail along the floor, breadcrumbs to my inevitable exit.
“I don’t understand.”
“Of course you don’t. I made a mess of it,” he says as he stops in front of his dresser. He pulls the top drawer open and rustles around inside. A moment later, his hand is cradling a small velvet box.
He holds it out to me, and I stare at it, unsure what this means.
“What is this?” I whisper, scared to open it. Scared to have my heart ripped out once more. I can’t do it. Can’t survive it.
Coop runs a hand through his hair and then places the box in my hand.
“I was going to have us start over. I was going to propose, Matthew. I’ve been working with Owen and Patrick to set up a proper wedding ceremony.”
“But…” I gasp, as Coop reaches over and opens the box. I see a beautiful gold ring inside, so different from the one on my finger.
“This is for you to wear around your neck, next to your heart. A symbol of new beginnings.”
I stare down at it and blink through hazy eyes.
“But you haven’t said you love me.”
Coop sighs and he takes a step closer to me. “I do love you, Matthew. I was going to tell you on the beach, at our wedding.”
“But…”