I placed a hand on her arm. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe.”
“Whew.”
I dropped Ava off and drove back to the carriage house. I grabbed the mail and went inside. There was one of those bubble envelopes addressed to me, so I opened it and inside was a DVD.
Wondering what it was, I popped it into my DVD player and stood there as it started playing. I watched in horror as I saw myself naked and in bed getting fucked by Fred and Barney. The worst part was how I crawled all over the two of them like some animal. My hands, mouth, and tongue were over every part of them as I moaned and groaned. They took me every way possible, and from my expression, I loved every minute of it. My stomach suddenly lurched violently, sending me racing for the bathroom. I threw up but it was endless. Every time I thought of that fucking DVD, or maybe I should’ve said that fuck DVD, another spasm sent my stomach contents straight to the toilet. I seriously didn’t think it would ever end.
When there was nothing left in my gut, I walked into the living room, ejected the DVD and smashed the DVD player into a million pieces. Then I picked up the TV and took it outside and threw it down on the driveway. I went back inside, found a hammer, and beat on it to death.
I trudged back inside and looked at the envelope the fucking thing came in. No return address, of course. But I’d missed the typewritten note that had accompanied it.
Best wishes on your upcoming wedding, Lexi. Maybe this will teach you not to fuck with me. I told you your day would come. P.S. Your fiancé is getting his own little present.
The note fluttered through my fingers and flitted to the floor like a feather. I watched it like it was in slow motion.
I needed to call someone, but who? Pearce was who I wanted to call, needed to call. But by now, I’m sure he regretted ever knowing me. I didn’t want to bother Terri because she had her own problems to deal with and she didn’t need this burden. There wasn’t anyone else who I knew except Justin, and I couldn’t call him.
I had to go to Pearce’s, at least to let him tell me good-bye or whatever. I’d make it easy on him because he never deserved this. And then maybe I’d call Phil. I really didn’t know how I would survive this. I would have to move away from Charleston. By now, this shit was probably all over the internet.
Not even bothering to grab my purse or lock the door, I took Pearce’s keys so I could give them back to him and walked the few blocks to his house. When I went inside, I didn’t have to be told he’d gotten his copy. His flat-screen TV was broken into tiny pieces, just like my little one was.
Glancing around the room, I let the memories of all the wonderful times we had in here wash over me like a soothing balm. God, I loved this home. It was more than just a house to me. It was a place where I’d always felt safe and welcome. Where I knew I could find peace and serenity. Where Pearce’s arms would be open and waiting.
The tears dripped off my chin before I realized I was crying. There was one thing I had to do before I left this house for the last time. I decided I wanted to spend time up on the widow’s walk. Grabbing Pearce’s miniature speaker, I ran up the two flights of steps and walked outside. It was a warm October day and I plopped down with a thud in the middle of the floor. I hunted the music I knew would be on a playlist somewhere from the night we got engaged, the beautiful night we spent up here. It was mostly classical music with some romantic tunes mixed in that I had Pearce add to my playlist. Why was I torturing myself? I had no answer. The only thing I knew was this would be the last chance I’d have to spend up here. I wanted to do it remembering our special night.
The music haunted me. I saw his face as he brought me here in the moonlight and surprised me with all the decorations he had planned. The bed draped in soft gauzy fabric and the tiny white lights that twinkled. The candlelight, but mostly Pearce, his face, his touch, his lips, his scent, the way only he could make me feel. I sobbed then. Curling up into a ball, I wanted the world to go away and just let me stay here forever.
It was dusk when I woke up, my phone clutched in my hand. I’m not even sure what woke me. The music was still playing loudly when, suddenly, the door flew open and there he stood.
My swollen eyes were a dead giveaway that I’d been crying all afternoon.
“Shit, Alexia.” His voice made me shiver. Then the tears started streaming again.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Pearce.” I took my ring off and handed it to him. “Here. This is yours and you should have it back. I don’t want this to be hard on you. All of this, every single bit of it is my fault, and I’ll bear the responsibility for it.”
“You’re giving me your ring back? Why?”
“So you won’t have to marry me. I don’t want to be an embarrassment to you or your family.”
“Fuck that, Alexia. I’ll take the ring back, but only if you don’t want to marry me ’cause I don’t want to live without you. I keep telling you, I’m here till the end. When are you going to start listening?”
“Huh? Didn’t you get that DVD?”
“Yeah, those fucking shits. Did you get my texts?”
“No.”
“I’ve been texting you all afternoon. I wondered why you hadn’t answered. I just got done with John and I went to your place and found your car and purse but no you. I started to freak.”
None of this was making any sense. If he saw the DVD, he saw what I did. That I was ... oh God. My hand flew to my mouth, and I stood up. My eyes cast around, looking for a place to hurl. I knew I wouldn’t make it to the bathroom.
“What is it?” His voice was laced with concern.
“Sick,” was all I could get out before I just gagged. Since I hadn’t eaten anything and had all but gotten everything out before, nothing came up. I guess there was nothing left.
“Lex, are you okay?” He stood behind me, one arm around my waist, the other holding my hair.
I shuddered. I didn’t think I’d ever be okay.