“Justin, she’s okay. I just left her room and she’s resting comfortably. She’s going to be fine. You know, the best way for you to help her is for you to take care of yourself first. She’s going to need your help later, when she’s out of here.”
He grabbed his hair and then frantically rubbed his face. “It’s all my fault this happened.”
“Don’t say that! It was an accident.” But I knew exactly how he felt.
“I was looking at her, Lexi. I wasn’t watching the road like I should have been.”
Oh no. Looking at Terri and not the road? How do I handle this? “Look, everyone does that when they drive. A glance here or there. No one expects a deer to fly out of nowhere and crash into them. Whatever you do, don’t blame this on yourself. And please listen to me. I’ve been there. I know what you’re going through. This is not your fault at all.”
His eyes bored into mine. Anguish and guilt told me everything. I sat on the side of his bed, even though I probably shouldn’t have, and grabbed his hand.
My voice was firm when I spoke. I had to get his attention. “Listen to me and listen good. It was a fucking accident, Justin Middleton. Nothing more. Yes, Terri is injured. No sugarcoating that. Yes, she’s gonna go through some difficult times ahead but she’s also a tough cookie and would be pissed at you right now for blaming yourself for this. It’s time to stop. Don’t you dare go down that road because if you do, it will fuck you up. I have firsthand experience in this, and if you want, I’ll share it with you one day. Understand?”
He looked at me like I was someone he didn’t even know.
“Look, I’m sorry if you think I’m being a total jerk, but I was driving a car that crashed and someone ended up dying. I blamed myself for years. If it wasn’t for someone I recently met, fell in love with, and would die for, I’d still be blaming myself. I’m going to ask you one question and I want you to answer it honestly. Did you intend for your Range Rover to spin out and crash after you hit that deer and for Terri to get hurt?”
“Never!”
“Then it’s time to stop blaming yourself. That’s why they call it an accident.”
His eyes widened and it was like a light bulb clicked on. I watched as the tension flowed out of him.
In a small voice, he asked me, “Do you think she’ll forgive me?”
“Justin, there’s nothing to forgive. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I bent down, kissed his cheek, and left his room.
Pearce was talking with his parents in the ICU waiting room when I joined them, and they wanted to know Justin’s status. I told them he’d calmed and appeared to be better. Then we all decided to grab some lunch since none of us had bothered with breakfast.
While we were eating, Susan brought up the wedding.
“Have you two set a date yet?”
“Not yet.”
“We haven’t even talked about it, Mom,” Pearce said, coming to my rescue.
“Well, do you have any ideas of what you might want?”
“Mom! We haven’t even begun to discuss it. This is going to be all about Alexia. It’s her day.”
I interrupted the conversation. “Wait, Pearce, you get a say in all of this. I really don’t care either way. I would like a small ceremony though.”
“Honey, what about your family?” Susan wanted to know.
“No. They won’t be invited. I’m not even telling them.”
Pearce and Susan exchanged glances and I knew what was coming. I headed them off before they even got the chance.
“Look, you two, I know what you’re both thinking. But seriously, my parents literally dumped me in my greatest time of need. They dragged me out of the funeral home after Peter died and yelled at me, telling me it was all my fault and that I was the biggest disappointment of their lives. That was when I needed them the most and they pretty much kicked me in the teeth. At this point in my life, after I’ve picked up the shattered pieces and glued myself back together, and only because of you, Pearce, they don’t get to share in our joy. They would only bring me back down to that horrid place I was in and nothing on earth is going to spoil the most important day of my life.”
All three of them stared at me and then Henry said, “I believe Lexi has made up her mind and I have to say I am on her side.”
“That makes two of us,” Susan joined in.
Pearce smiled and agreed with them. “Nope, it’s three.”