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“Alexia, dear, I know all of them. Why do you ask?”
“Well, last night at work, one of my patrons was a surgeon named Pearce Middleton and I was wondering ...”
“That would be my dear friend Avery’s grandson. She has a blooming dozen I believe. Grandchildren that is. Anyhow, Pearce is a surgeon, his daddy is a surgeon, his grandaddy was a doctor, and I think Pearce has two brothers who are doctors. I know one of them is here but I’m not sure about the others. In any case, Pearce is certainly a Charleston Middleton.”
“Thanks, Lisbeth.”
“Is that all?”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean, my dear, is are you not going to tell me anything else about him? Is he handsome? Is he going to call on you? Is he going to court you?”
I giggled. I just loved Lisbeth. She never pulled any punches.
“Lisbeth, people don’t court anymore.”
“Honestly, what’s happened to the youth, I’ll never know. Young women calling men. I declare, in my day, we never would have done such a thing!”
I burst out laughing. “Things have certainly changed. But to answer one of your questions, Pearce Middleton is quite handsome.”
“Is he now?” she said with a wink. She liked to wink a lot when she was being saucy.
“He is. Very. Tall, dark with gray eyes. Let me just put it this way. I’m sure he hasn’t been short on girlfriends.”
“I suppose he hasn’t. His daddy is a good-looking man. So was his granddaddy. I guess you could say he comes by it honestly. Tell me, are you going to go out with him?”
“Why, no!”
“Alexia Wells Hammond, you listen to me. You are wasting your life away. I know what you’re going to say, but you’re wrong. It’s time to move on. It’s been three years, and you can’t go on like this forever.”
“I know,” I said as my shoulders slumped and I folded into myself. I really didn’t want to have this conversation with her. I didn’t want to have it with anyone. Peter was always there, going nowhere and never forgotten.
Her tone softened. “It’s what he would have wanted, you know.”
I looked up at her for a moment, my brows creased. I thought for a second and then I said, shaking my head, “No, Lisbeth, I think he would have preferred to have lived.”
I turned and walked away.
* * *
As soon as my errands were finished, I went home. I plopped on my bed with a puff and lay back for a second thinking about everything. Terri was right. What I was doing was the next best thing to insanity. I promised her no more drugs, but I knew I wouldn’t stick to that. I’m sure I would be hooking up with someone new before the week was over. I wasn’t ready to change, or maybe I wasn’t willing. I had to get my act together. Waking up with two guys was disgusting enough, but add in that I didn’t know either of them was abominable. Next thing you know, I’d be charging for my services. I curled up for a second and wondered what the heck had happened to me. Where had that girl gone, the one who had saved herself for that special one? I had been the last holdout. Out of all my friends, I was the last virgin. Until Peter. He’d stolen my heart, and he was my first. I thought he would be my last, but it hadn’t quite worked out that way. Life had played a cruel trick on me, as it often does, and now, I was trying to escape from it. What a ridiculous job I was doing of it too.
I smacked the top of my head as my inner conscience screamed out.
Listen to yourself! You’re not trying to change a thing. Instead of sleeping with two guys at once, you’re only going to be sleeping with one who’s covered in a condom. Like that makes it okay. Then what does that make you? A semi-protected half-slut? Be honest for once. Figure out the why behind it. Is it Peter, because you know he’d hate it? Do you not want to be alone? Is it for drugs or is it something else?
None of this was me. Before Peter died, I never did that kind of crap. Yes, I was lonely, but sleeping around didn’t help. That was putting a Band-Aid on an amputation. It wasn’t sexual gratification either because I couldn’t remember any of it afterward. The only thing left was that I was royally fucked up, but I already knew that. That put me back at ground zero. This was exactly why I hated thinking about this stuff. It solved absolutely nothing except gave me a throbbing migraine. I fell asleep, trying to figure myself out.
* * *
It was about nine thirty when I dragged myself out of bed. I ambled into the kitchen and grabbed a drink. I was famished, so I threw on some jeans and headed over to King Street to grab a bite to eat. There were plenty of local diners I could get something tasty from and maybe afterwards I would scoot over to one of my favorite bars, the Golden Nugget, and grab a cold one.
The streets were always crowded at night with the local college right around the corner. Students were out and about, shopping, eating, and clubbing later. I slipped into my favorite booth and the waitress took a seat across from me. We caught up while she took my order.
“You going out tonight?”
“Yeah, but only for a couple of chilly ones. You?” I asked in return.
