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“Geez, Lex. I think he really likes you.”
“Terr, the feeling is mutual, but I’m such a mess, he doesn’t need me around him. Add this whole incident to the mix and now you don’t have just fucked-up Lexi, now I’m Train-Wreck-Fucked-Up-Lexi.”
“Quit being so hard on yourself. Besides, he’s a grown man. Let him decide for himself if you’re too fucked up for his tastes.”
“No way. Then he’ll end up hating me. And I’ll hate myself more than I already do, if that’s even possible. Besides, he scares me to pieces. There’s something about him, Terr, that sets me on fire. I mean, I could see myself doing things with him that, well, I’m afraid I’ll just mess things up like I did with Peter. You know, while I was being held by those guys, I wondered if this was God’s way of punishing me for my disgusting behavior.”
“Would you stop already?”
“No, I’m being serious here. The thing is, I’ve decided, I mean really decided that I’m done with that lifestyle. No more clubs, bars, whatever. I’m cleaning my act up. I’ll keep on working for Lisbeth, but I may look for a normal kind of job too. I don’t know what. I’ll keep on working at Camellia’s if they haven’t already replaced me. But I’m done with it all. When I get well enough, I’m trashing all my ho clothing and turning over a new leaf. I’m scared to death those dudes will come back for me. I don’t know what they wanted with me, but they knew who I was. It’s freaking me out, Terri. I think they would’ve killed me. I could’ve died.” I ran my hands through my hair and then clasped them together to try to get them to stop shaking.
She dropped her head. “I have no words. I’m sorry for all this. Maybe you need to get a gun and take some self-defense classes or something. After you’re cleared by your doctor, we’ll sign up for that.”
“I think you may be right.”
We talked for a bit longer but then I told her I was really hurting and getting sleepy. She left, with the promise of returning that night.
I curled up into a ball, hugging my knees as close to my chest as my wounds would allow. I wished I lived in a world where my parents cared about me and would be here to comfort me. Where I had a room to go home to with someone to help me, so I didn’t have to be alone and frightened. Where I had the confidence in myself to not be afraid to get involved with Pearce. Where I didn’t have to worry about being by myself. I wish I could go back in time and undo all the awful things I did, especially sleeping with all those men. I lay there in a tight ball and eventually fell asleep.
* * *
I woke up to the smell of homemade chicken soup and the crunching of a paper bag. When I opened my eyes, there stood Pearce, grinning at me.
“You don’t look much better today,” he observed. He disappeared for a moment and came back to my bed with a warm cloth and gently wiped my face. I must’ve looked a mess. “Your bruising has really popped out. Have you been using the ice packs?”
“No, I didn’t know I was supposed to.”
He left for a moment and came back with some cold gel packs for me to use.
“Thank you. The soup smells amazing.”
“It’s the best in all of Charleston. Omie’s Deli.”
“I’ve always heard it was great, but I’ve never been.”
“Now’s your chance.”
I carefully squiggled up in the bed and pushed the button to raise the head. My head itched like crazy. When I scratched it, I winced.
“Do you need something for the pain?”
“No, I hurt everywhere though. Aches and bruises.”
“You’re significantly banged up. You’re going to be sore for quite a while.”
I leaned over the soup to get a spoonful and it was the best ever. “Oh yum. This is fantastic!”
“Told you,” he said with a wink. “I think I lived on this stuff during med school.”
“You went here, then?”
“Er, in case you forgot, my last name is Middleton. I didn’t have much of a choice.”
“Oh,” was all I thought of to say. I guessed the Middletons must have something to do with the medical school.
He must have read my mind because he said, “The Middletons are the biggest benefactors to the medical school here.”
“Oh,” I said again. “Did you train here?”
