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“You’re useless. I should put you out on the street with the rest of the trash.”
That night he’d done just that, after he beat me so bad, I couldn’t think straight.
I crawled to the alleyway and got myself to my feet. From there I walked the fifteen blocks to my mom’s house. She found me hours later laying on the stairs leading to her front door. I was rushed to the hospital where I spent four days.
May’s embrace helped me pull myself out of that memory. That day, I became a new woman, one that was a lot smarter than the previous. I brushed the tears from my face, hissing at the pain in my left cheek. I wasn’t sure it was real or phantom, a memory I could never get rid of.
I heard Rudy and his father talking. Arguing, but I couldn’t focus past my own thoughts right now. May’s arms tugged me tighter against her chest, allowing me the time I needed to get myself back under control.
“It’s okay, sweetheart, I’ve got you. You’re okay.” Her kind words and gentle hug was doing what I needed. Calming, my heart started to slow its frantic pace.
We made our way to the chairs against the wall. I sat there, holding onto her hand as if it were a lifeline. In a way, it was. I needed to be grounded to the here and now.
Even with what had happened, I was safe here. I had people who would not let anyone do this to me again.
When May’s hand released mine, I pulled back. The room once again came into focus. It was chaotic. There was a security guard, Phil, two patrol officers, and a few others in the room. My mortification rose. Who else would know what happened here? Who would know that I had a jaded past?
Tears started rolling down my cheeks again.
“Ella, love.” Rudy pulled me into his strong arms. The warmth of his body, his gentle touch, made the tears fall harder. “It’s all right, love. I’m here.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Do ye want to press charges?”
“Yes,” I hiccupped the single word out. It held all of the emotions I had to spare at the moment.
“Gis—”
“Don’t ye speak her name again!” Rudy was shaking with anger. I clutched his suit jacket tighter.
This would be over soon.
“She’s my useless wife. Don’t coddle her. She?—”
Rudy lunged for him; I stumbled, once again twisting my ankle, again. My shout of pain had him scooping me up into his arms. I once again dissolved into a mess of tears.
A few hours later, after talking to cops and a trip to the ER for my ankle, we were in my run-down apartment, waiting for Mom to get back from the store. She insisted that she was going to get me some comfort food for tonight. I didn’t want her to do anything special. I planned to go to bed and never leave it again.
Rudy wouldn’t leave until he knew she was back and able to help me if needed.
I had a tendon tear and—man, let me just tell you—I am ninety percent sure this hurts worse than the time I broke my foot.
Injury aside, I wasn’t sure how this was going to play out. I was sitting across from Rudy, Cameron, and May. I had my ankle propped up on the coffee table, looking anywhere but at them. The pain in my ankle, the throbbing in my cheek, it was all keeping me in place. I wanted nothing more than to run and hide. Like the coward I was.
“Can ye tell me about this man?” Cameron asked, his eyes meeting mine. I read nothing but concern in them.
Spilling my guts about my past hadn’t been in my cards this morning. It was something I knew I couldn’t hide forever, but I’d wanted to. To be a failure at anything, even if it was a dead end, crappy relationship—it hurt. Probably for all the wrong reasons, but I owed it to them and myself to get it all out on the table. The good, the bad, and everything in between.
“I wasn’t good enough, and he took every advantage, every little tiny morsel of good that I had and crushed it.” I wiped angrily at the tears rolling down my cheeks. “He wasn’t always this bad. He had a shitty personality, but that didn’t show up until—You know, I don’t even know. He had me wound so tight for so long, it just became normal.” I had to look away from them. The pity on May’s face…I just couldn’t.
“I believed him, you know. I really thought I was useless. A waste of space. He warped my mind to the point that I had started to believe everything. Then my mom came to visit. Her intervention caused us to lose time together. I was in denial…I didn’t want to believe her at first. I’ve spent the last two years working on myself, trying to undo everything that he’s done to me.”
“What a disgusting waste of human skin.” May made a face.
“Yeah. I know none of it’s my fault, yet?—”
“I get it. My first two husbands were awful. Finally, the third time was a charm.”
“And loaded,” Cameron said, chuckling.
“His money has nothing to do with it, and you know it. I swear, you’re asking for me to spike your cognac with something that puts you out of your misery.”
