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PROLOGUE
YASMINE
The things I did in the past are about to catch up to me.
I knew I couldn’t hide away from them forever.
Living in fear for most of my married life was something that took its toll. It forced me into situations I didn’t want to be in. I wanted a life filled with love, but the way I chose to get it wasn’t right.
I’m torn as to what I want to do now.
Do I try to rebuild a relationship with Tarian, or do I walk away forever?
The guilt I experienced when I killed his father, knowing I’d stolen such an important person from my son’s life, broke me. But I didn’t want to live with someone violent, and I always feared Theodore would end up hurting our son too.
Back then, I believed Tarian was old enough to survive without me, so I chose to be with Thane. When I returned to Tynewood, I decided not to show my son what he meant to me. I wanted him to hate me because I knew I deserved it, and I thought it would make it easier for him to continue without me.
I stare down at the piece of paper on the desk. I need to try to explain everything to Tarian in a letter. There isn’t any way I could say this to his face.
As I hold the pen, poised and ready to start writing, I blink back the tears.
Dear Tarian,
There is no easy way to explain the things I’ve done, and even though I’d like to ask you to forgive me so we can move on together, I know it’s not going to be possible.
Once you’ve read this letter, and the ones I’ve written to Thane and to your father, I hope you’ll be able to understand a little better why I did what I did.
Life can be cruel and unrelenting at times, and I spent most of your younger years hiding the truth from you. I wanted you to grow up knowing you were loved, even though no such emotion existed between your father and me.
I love you. I want and need you to know that.
Choosing to walk away from you wasn’t easy. I broke my own heart to keep you safe. I thought if you believed your father and I had died in an accident, you would mourn our loss and move on. Now I realize it was my own pain I was trying to recover from, and I ended up scarring you.
I’ve made so many mistakes. My choices have not always been right or moral. But I intend to rectify what I can.
You are far stronger and a much better person than your father, and I pray you treat those you love with compassion and loyalty. Do not follow in his footsteps or mine.
I promise all your questions will be answered in time.
My actions don’t demonstrate what you truly mean to me. I thought hating me would make it easier than knowing I loved you but still chose to walk away. I’m sorry for that.
Please don’t follow the Calvert path and become someone hateful and unworthy of love. I want you to choose your own path and be your own person. I want your life to be happy and fulfilled,
Even though I haven’t shown it in the last few years, I love you, and I always will.
Mom
I can’t go into more detail, but I want him to have something he can refer to in the coming years that reminds him he’s loved, unless he decides to burn it without reading it, of course.
The time has come for me to pay for my past mistakes. I’ve asked Thane to help me, like he’s done so many times before. I know he doesn’t love me as I do him, and that’s okay. I made my choice, and I must live with the consequences.
A mother’s decisions may not always be right, but her love endures. That’s what I’ve kept telling myself since the day I killed my husband, the father of my son, and walked away from Tynewood and my death. That was also the day I chose to sacrifice being a mother to Tarian.
Now I’ve returned to make sure my son is safe before I finally find peace.
CHAPTER 1
TARIAN
