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And now? For everything he can offer Alessia that I can’t.
That earth faerie twit has a penchant for taking anything I’m fond of for himself.
The last thing I need is him cozying up to the woman I’m so drawn to.
I shouldn’t lust after a human. I can’t. It’s…an impossibility that will only hurt us both. She’s had enough pain in her life; she doesn’t need me adding to it. Arguably, I’ve done a great job at avoiding her these past two weeks, ever since she straddled me in the gardens, high on moonberries.
Ever since I almost lost control entirely.
When she told me she wanted me, when she revealed all the good she sees in me, it almost tipped me over the edge of no return.
I avoid her in the halls, never getting too close. But at night, I'm the weakest. I’m lonely, and when I can’t sleep, I crave her simple conversation. Her attention. Like a fool, I’ve waited in the kitchen every night over these past couple of weeks, just to watch her make her valerian tea from the shadows.
She’s never sought me out. It’s for the best. It means she doesn’t crave my presence as much as I crave hers.
At least one of us is strong.
It should be me. I know better. I know the risk we pose each other, yet still, I watch her from afar every night, hoping she’ll make a midnight appearance in the kitchens.
Maybe I refuse to push her away because for the first time in a decade I can sleep without nightmares. Not every night, but some nights. On those nights, it’s her face that fills my subconscious. Her laughter and sparkling grey eyes allow me to relax and catch up on sleep.
I see her in my dreams, and by the gods, it’s a glorious sight.
She offers me reprieve without even knowing it—an escape from my usual, recurring nightmares. I can’t remember the last time I had good dreams, but ever since Alessia showed up, I’ve had sweet, enticing dreams about her. In them, we’re entirely normal. Not plagued by my curses or the differences between us.
If only they were real. If only I could touch her like I do in my dreams.
And maybe that’s why I push so much for her to find her strength. Because I knew I would crumble, that really, deep down, it’s me that’s weak and I need her to be strong when I can’t.
There’s a knock and the doors open with a creak behind me.
“Prince Eoin to see you, Prince Rainer,” a servant says, before shutting the doors with a soft click.
I sigh, running a hand through my messy waves before turning around to face the Terra Prince. My jaw aches, the tension radiating into my head.
“I’m almost offended you chose to receive me in such a stale room,” Eoin says with a grin that’s much too friendly for my liking. He swipes a finger over the doorjamb. “This must be the only room in your entire estate with dust,” he says, mockingly appalled.
“It was my father’s.” The words taste bitter on my tongue. “It’s a fine room.”
“Fine indeed, but not your preferred receiving room. One might think you’re being unwelcome. That you don’t want me here. It’s no secret how you feel about your late father.”
Eoin is wise enough to pick up on it. Good. Let him be offended.
“It’s a shame considering how kind I’ve been toward you.” His grin turns smug. “Healing your wounds and all. That is a debt unpaid, I’m sure you realize.”
Shrugging, I pick up a decanter of wine and offer him a glass. He nods, and I pour us both a generous serving. We’ll need it.
“The Ioworths always pay their debts,” I mutter. “Now tell me, why are you really here a day early?”
Though, I know the answer to that. Cleary it’s to scope out my court. It’s a common fact he wants Umbra Court. He thinks I’m failing my people. Thinks that he could be a better ruler.
His ego is appalling.
“Why are you so fond of that human girl?” he counters, ignoring my question.
My eyes narrow as I throw back the glass of wine, reaching to pour more. He chuckles into his own glass and sips it without removing his gaze from mine.
I clench my teeth. “I’m not.”
