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Something clicks in that moment as I replay Rainer’s words. “I don’t have demons. I am a demon—”
My heart drops into my stomach.
What if he had meant the kind of demon Ken referred to. Is it possible that Rainer isn’t a faerie, but a demon?
My body stills, and my arm hair stands up on its end.
I grip Ken’s arms, pleadingly. “What don’t I know, Ken?”
“Many, many things, little human.” He pats my head reassuringly, a genuine smile rising back to his face.
“Why does he hate Tynan?”
“Shhhh.” Ken shoves his finger to my lips. He leans forward and lowers his voice. “Don’t speak of him so openly.”
“But Rainer introduced me—”
“We can’t talk with so many shifters around.” Ken’s eyes widen. “Relax. Have fun.”
“But what about Rainer?”
Ken flashes a toothy grin and shakes his head, his sweaty hair flying around his face. “You are as obsessed with him as he is you.”
Obsessed? With me?
“He hates me.” The lie is bitter on my tongue.
“Give him some space.”
That, I can do.
I think we both need space.
Excusing myself, I push through a pulsing group of glistening, half-naked bodies that grind against each other sensually. Away from the dance floor, I pass the snack tables and abandoned chairs—not a single person sits idle tonight. Each body is up and moving to the beat, hollering into the night sky, or joking good-naturedly with another.
A couple of fae play by the fire, tossing a flaming ball between each other. Another comes up beside them, waving a hand and sending a gust of wind toward the ball, sending it sailing up into the skies.
A panther prowls by, following what looks like a normal girl, save for the giant white wings sprouting from her back.
I wonder if they’re all High Fae, since they’re using magic so casually. Or perhaps it’s an Ostara custom. A way to celebrate.
Or maybe they’re just drunk and careless.
It’s all awe-inducing, and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to witnessing fae magic.
Under a willow tree off to the side, away from all the action, I spot Viv and Sennah devouring each others’ faces.
My lips curve up, happy for them, until I remember how Rainer pushed me away like a diseased rodent after I kissed him.
The sickening acceptance of rejection hits like a punch to the stomach.
After a good thirty minutes or so of moping, I force myself to snap out of it.
For once in my life, I need to stop caring about everyone else, stop catering to their needs. Das Celyn had said, "I’ve been waiting for the day you stand up for yourself—we all have been.” I’m not sure this is exactly what they meant, but they’ll all get their wish tonight.
It’s time I have some fun and stop worrying about everyone else.
Char would hate to see me squandering an opportunity to be free and have fun. Especially over some boy, as she’d say. She always wanted a better life for me. And though this isn’t what I had envisioned, it’s better than anything I’ve ever known. It’s Char’s smiling, weathered face I see reminding me to seize the moment and live for me.
