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I realize Eoin, Sennah, Ken, and Viv are silently watching the two of us as they eat slowly, as if they’re afraid to make a move or speak up.
“What’s going on?” Eoin finally asks as he reaches for my hand, giving me a reassuring squeeze.
Rainer tracks the movement, narrowing his eyes. “Nothing that concerns you.”
“What does it mean, Rainer?” I repeat, my voice stern this time.
“Not here. Not now, Alessia.”
“Tell me. Now.”
He sighs. “It means… my little rose.”
“You—you—!” I can’t even speak.
Rainer… was in my dreams.
Real-Rainer is dream-Rainer.
I release Eoin’s hand and push my chair back, standing to leave.
I had wondered how I heard the new, unfamiliar phrase in my dreams. I dusted it off, figuring I heard it somewhere and it lingered in my subconscious. But no. It was Rainer all along.
I’m violated by the revelation that my dreams weren’t innocent at all. They were—I don’t know—but they weren’t private. They didn’t belong to me. My cheeks flush as I realize I kissed him. We kissed. I almost—oh gods. It’s somehow worse than him walking in on me pleasuring myself to the memory of his kiss.
A kiss that was real.
“Alessia—”
“How could you?”
Rainer’s icy eyes soften. “Alessia, please. It’s not what you think.”
My knees go weak. The desperation in his voice heats my blood. I’ve never heard him use the word please. Somehow, it feels monumental. My head tells me I’m being stupid, but my body responds to his effortlessly, falling for the kind act by becoming lax.
How have I become such a silly, stupid girl—the one who lusts after a cruel faerie prince, simply because he says her name and uses the word please?
Char would be disappointed in me.
After a moment of hesitation, I sit.
I’m not fleeing.
I’ll wait out the brunch so I can catch Rainer alone afterward. This isn’t a conversation I want to have in front of nosey ears. If I can wait out the lord’s violent punishments, I can wait out an awkward brunch. Both are painful in their own way, but I’d still rather be here than facedown on the lord’s table getting whipped. So, this? This is nothing. I’ll sit here quietly and bide my time, as I simmer in my newfound rage.
As much of a disappointment as I’ve become, at least my self-control would make Char proud.
After brunch finishes up, Eoin plants a kiss on my hand. Rainer watches us from across the room, even though he’s engaged in conversation with Sennah, Viv, and Ken, and his eyes flash dark blue again.
I wonder if it’s related to his emotions, or his magic, or both.
“You could come with me,” Eoin says. My attention snaps back to him. “To Terra Court. If you feel unsafe here.” He glances at Rainer to make his point.
“I—”
The answer should be an easy yes, especially after how Rainer used his power on me, and how unwelcoming most of the Umbra Court has been, but a tug deep inside me anchors me to the ground. Something in the way Rainer said “please,” earlier haunts my mind. Though I’m irrefutably bothered by his actions and misuse of magic to influence both my fears and dreams, I need to know why.
Mostly, I need to know if the Rainer in my dreams is truly the fae I know. If so, it changes everything. It certainly complicates things, but it changes it all.
