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“What?”
A low voice buzzed at the end of the line. Sawyer pressed a kiss to my nose and turned the receiver to his shoulder.
“Sorry Callie, I have to take this.”
I had no problem with that at all. Flashing him a smile, I ducked out of his grasp and hurried from his office. Closing the door behind me, I had a few seconds to catch my strained breath then I bolted for the bathroom.
I made it just in time. The stall door clattered and shook as I slammed it behind me, then I sank to my knees with a gasp.
Drenched in sweat, the remains of my lunch flooded the bowl as I threw up everything, including my nerves. Trembling, I gagged and hurled until there was nothing left inside me but a painful pull of muscles. Then I flopped down to the side and groaned.
“Fuck.”
That was terrifying and the guilt was going to eat me alive. It was worth it, though. For my mother.
With trembling fingers, I checked my email. There it was, innocently sitting in my inbox. I could delete it, pretend this never happened, and find another solution.
Who was I kidding? There was no other solution.
I typed out a short text to Eli and hit send.
CALLIE: I got it.
22
CALLIE
“Idid it.”
The words were heavy and hollow, seeping into the empty space just beneath my ribs. Like ash, they stained my tongue and I couldn’t get the acidic taste out of my mouth even after the confession.
“Oh, chick.” Bianca’s sorrowful voice in my ear was the last straw.
I came to a stop in the middle of the street and cried. The crumbling dam I had held in place for the rest of my work shift could no longer stand against the pressure behind my eyes. Knees together, one hand pressed over my eyes and my shoulders hunched forward, I sobbed.
“Callie…” Bianca tried to soothe me but it didn’t work. The guilt was going to eat me alive, no matter how often I told myself that it would be worth it in the long run.
“I—.” Sobs smothered my words and my damp hand slid from my eyes to my mouth. Tears poured, and passersby looked on curiously. Thankfully, no one cared enough to stop and ask me if I was okay.
“Deep breaths,” Bianca soothed the best she could over the phone. “Just take a few deep breaths for me, chick.”
They were more like haggard gasps but I did it. Fat tears rolled down my flaming cheeks, and my lower lip wobbled so violently that each breath was reminiscent of a child’s wet sobs.
“I did it,” I gasped out, choking slightly. “I stole everything I could find. I sent it in an email to myself and I feel… horrendous.”
“I’m sorry chick. I really am. Is there anything I can do? Do you want me to come with you to see Eli?”
Moving out of the middle of the pavement, I hugged the wall of a nearby shop and slowly started to walk again.
“No. I have to do this by myself.”
“You don’t.” Bianca sighed softly. “Are you sure you even want to go through with this? It’s eating you up, chick. This can’t be the only answer.”
“What else am I supposed to do?” I wept. “The alternative is losing everything and supporting my mother on my own while gaining an insane amount of debt from Eli and we both know I can’t afford that. If I could, I wouldn’t even be in this mess.”
Bianca didn’t have an answer, and more guilt piled on that I’d snapped at her. Sniffling, I did my best to wipe my tears as I walked.
“I’m sorry, I just… I feel so trapped and smothered and I don’t understand how I even got here.”
