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One of Junjie’s slender shoulders lifted in a careless shrug. “I don’t think he ever thought about what he wanted for the future. His father was the type to make declarations, and everyone would follow his orders without thinking. The only thing he instilled in Xiang ahead of their parting was that Xiang needed to protect the emperor.”
The orange cat stretched in Junjie’s lap with a couple of scratches to one ear, but he was now keeping a very close eye on Kai. No matter. Kai ignored the strange creature, all his focus on this little snippet from Xiang’s past.
“After we became vampires, the emperor commanded us to kill some conspirators. When we arrived at the manor that night, we discovered Xiang’s father meeting with two of the emperor’s brothers and another nobleman. Emperor Wu was sick and dying. They were concerned with who he would choose as his heir to the Dragon Throne. After two thousand years, I’m still not convinced they were truly conspiring against the emperor. Their concern was for the well-being of the nation. I don’t believe Xiang thinks his father was a traitor, either. But the emperor ordered him to dispatch all suspected conspirators, and his father taught him to always protect the emperor.”
“So, he killed his father…” Kai whispered.
Junjie grunted, his hand stilling in the cat’s fur. “He followed his training. But ever since then, Xiang has grown even more brash and obnoxious. He’s trying to keep everyone at arm’s length, so he never has to suffer such a pain again. I believe he feels he’s tainted from that night. He now hides his true feelings from even his clan.” Turning his head to Kai, Junjie lifted one corner of his mouth in a small smile and seemed to light a spark of hope within Kai. “Except that has changed since he returned from being your prisoner. When he laughs, you can feel his happiness. It’s no longer edged with harsh bitterness. The shadows have left his eyes, and I no longer see him brooding alone. It’s as if he’s shed centuries of self-loathing and embraced this light that you’ve brought into his life.”
Kai’s hand slipped to cover his heart as it sped up within his chest. Had he done that? Had he truly brought a light into Xiang’s life? Helped him to shed old guilt without even knowing it?
It made him long to run back to Xiang’s room and embrace him anew, to smother him with kisses, and never let him go. He wanted to be the reason he felt joy and hope again. He didn’t want him going another second through life doubting his own worthiness.
“I don’t want Xiang to be hurt because of me,” Kai admitted.
“Love is hard. Chen would point out that we all take chances when we give our hearts to another. Vampires may be near immortal and more difficult to kill than humans, but that doesn’t mean we’re still not at risk of dying or losing those we love. But if we don’t take that chance, if we don’t grab ahold of that happiness even for a little while, what’s the fucking point?” Junjie surprised him by leaning close and bumping his shoulder against his arm. When Kai looked up at him, the vampire was wearing a broad grin. “Yichen found a way to trust and even love his own enemy. So what if you’re an ancient dragon who could kill us all? Xiang trusts you won’t, and that’s enough for everyone else.”
A choked laugh escaped Kai, and he had to look away in order to control his own grin. “Your clan is in more danger from the cat in your lap than me.”
The cat in question let out a hiss and jumped from Junjie’s lap. The orange creature trotted across the backyard, its tail flicking from side to side as it disappeared among the trees.
Junjie frowned at the cat for a moment before turning his attention to Kai. “Are you going to stay? I don’t know if your life is happier with Xiang in it, but I can say that you’ve brought him a great amount of joy. He would be heartbroken if you left him.”
“And I’m supposed to accept that he’s throwing himself into harm’s way for my sake? Do you not understand that my every instinct is to grab him and hide him away within my hoard so that nothing can ever touch him?” Kai held his hands out in front of him, his fingers curled as if they were claws. He was torn between running far away and clinging to Xiang so they could never be separated.
Maybe he was going about this all wrong.
Maybe he should take Xiang and run away so no one could ever reach them. They could go back to hiding in his hoard and blocking out the rest of the world.
No. That was wrong, too. Xiang wouldn’t be happy without his clan.
“Love is hard,” Junjie repeated.
Kai glared at the vampire. “Talking to you is not very satisfying.”
“Let me make it easy.” Junjie leaned close to Kai. This time, his face twisted into a fierce scowl. “If you leave Xiang, you’re going to hurt him worse than Queen Belladonna and the fae ever could. And if you hurt Xiang, I will hunt you down and you’ll wish Belladonna had killed you.”
“I thought you said Xiang was a jerk.”
Junjie straightened and grunted softly. “He is a jerk, but he’s also my brother, and no one is allowed to hurt him.”
He could respect that.
“Then I will stay, but I demand that you and the rest of your clan help me keep Xiang alive. I don’t want him hurt by the fae. Even if it means killing me to protect him.”
The vampire’s expression softened, and he nodded. Lifting one hand, he brushed away some hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. “We’ll keep him safe as best we can.”
Kai pushed to his feet and brushed off the seat of his jeans. “Now I must locate Rei and Moon. I need their help in getting a gift for Xiang as a thank-you for rescuing me.”
Junjie glanced at the sky and snorted. “If you’re going out, I’d make it fast. The sun will be up in less than an hour and you know there’s no way Chen is going to like having his mate out with the sun so close to rising.”
That was true, but he needed Moon. He’d been human the most recent among them, and the strange man had some interesting ideas. He wanted to surprise Xiang with something unique. Gems and swords would not cut it this time.
Chapter 26
Li Xiang
Xiang woke to the smell of food.
