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“She’s not someone you need to worry about. The truth is…we fucked. Once. Three years ago. Now…she’s just a club woman under the protection of the Unchained because her brother is a brother. Stallion is a nomad, but he comes back here once every six months or so.”
God, she hated hearing about him with her, especially since the woman was a bitch. Cilla wasn’t stupid, she knew Patriot had a past, she just wished Jaime hadn’t been an “active” part of it.
“But I’ve seen you take her upstairs at parties?—”
He grunted, cutting her off. “She overdoes it and I make her sleep it off in my room. There’s no sex going on. I tuck her in, then either crash in my chair, or play Monopoly Go on my cell until I fall asleep on the floor beside the bed. There’s no intimacy, whatsoever, going on.”
She blinked at the totally acceptable and somewhat swoony answer. “Oh.” That was very nice of him—but he still had sex with Jaime before.
“Aren’t sisters off-limits? Isn’t that like…a rule?”
He nodded once, his lips pinched into a thin line.
“You broke the rule…you had sex with Stallion’s sister.”
“We were both drunk….”
She laughed, the sound without humor. “That’s always the excuse, isn’t it?”
He grunted. “It’s the truth. We were drunk, we fucked, and when I woke up the next morning, all I felt was regret and self-disgust. Her brother had left her in my care, expecting me to protect her, not fuck her. So, yeah, I broke my promise to him, and there hasn’t been a day gone by where I don’t feel like shit about it.”
“I’m guessing you haven’t told him…because you’re still alive, and she’s still clinging on to you like a slut barnacle.”
His snort of laughter made her smile despite the seriousness of their conversation.
Expression serious once more, Patriot admitted, “You’re right, I haven’t told him. I’m a fucking piece of shit. I know I did wrong, but I know the moment I tell him, almost twenty years of friendship and brotherhood are over.”
Sighing, Cilla’s gaze drifted over his features, her mind spinning, her heart aching for the man whose regret and shame were now stamped into his very frame. He was wracked with it.
“If you’ve been brothers that long, you’d think he’d be more forgiving and understanding than that. Yeah, you messed up, you banged his sister, but you weren’t alone in that bed. His sister is as much at fault as you are, and she knew the rules, too. I wouldn’t put it past Jaime to have targeted you in your moment of weakness.”
His eyes narrowed at her.
“And don’t you dare say that isn’t something Jaime would do, she totally would,” Cilla exclaimed.
He huffed, rolling his eyes, which made Cilla grin.
“I wasn’t going to say that—I know Jaime’s capable of it, but that doesn’t exonerate me from my wrongs.”
“Right, but you have to share the blame. It isn’t all on you, Patriot. I think your friend—who has known his sister longer than you have—would realize that. Honestly, I think you aren’t giving your friend enough credit. Will he be pissed that you diddled his sister, and then kept it a secret for three years? Hell yeah, he will, but I think he’d be more pissed if he found out about it from someone else.”
As if he were a steel scaffold collapsing under the strain of his guilt, Patriot seemed to fold beneath her. His deep green eyes filled with remorse and…fear. Of course, he was scared of losing his friend, but that didn’t explain the level of abject guilt that etched grooves into his features.
What else was happening in his mind that Patriot was so…heavy? What was weighing him down? And could she help him lift whatever it was that was crushing him?
As the silence ticked away, Cilla kept her focus on the man who owned her heart. She could see him contemplating, his face like a movie screen rolling the credits.
“I’ll tell him, I know I have to…” he spoke, the words pulled from his mouth like rotten teeth. “I…I just have to deal with a few things first.”
Yeah, like Stallion’s skanky sister.
“So…what’s with all the rumors about you two in a relationship? According to the Slutketeers, you’re just waiting for her brother to get back so you can make it official and claim her with her own property kutte and everything.”
He snorted. “That is straight up bullshit. If that’s what they’re saying, I’m not the one who started it. It was one time, years ago, and I’ve never had even the slightest temptation to repeat it. Jaime is my best friend’s sister. I fucked up, I admit that, but I wouldn’t compound that fuck up by making her my ol’ lady.”
She pinched her lips together. “You spend a lot of time together for someone you don’t want people to have the wrong idea about.”
At the furrow in his brows, the offered, “Stephie told me that she’s seen you two…around Chinchilla.” Stephie lived in Dickson City, but she drove through Chinchilla often to hit up the Boom Burger on the opposite side of Clarks Summit. The woman was particular about her beef, and after eating a burger from there once, she never wanted fast food burgers again. “She said you two looked chummy.” Actually, Stephie had said, “They looked all coupley, ya know, like a couple?” But Cilla didn’t know if she could emotionally handle hearing what he’d say if he admitted that Stephie was correct in her impression.
